G - Good Girl

That's what 'at least I think' I have been and it has quite often turned out to be the problem of my life. I am the kind of person who too often keeps herself in the other person's shoes and tries to empathize - sometimes I end up thinking too much about the other person more than that person herself/himself. And of course there are repercussions of this. However more than anything else, I end up feeling like a fool.

To give you an example, I work for a US financial services client. I have a lot of evening calls which take place during the client timings. Since I work as a project manager, many a times I am needed on the calls as well. I have had people in my team who would say 'No' and not attend this. It's not like I cant say no, I just understand the need that I should be there. Now my assigned work demands that hence I have been telling for ages to get a release from the project, however since I am a 'good' resource, they won't release me. There are people who stop working or start producing bad outputs so that they get removed, but of course, I can't do that. My work ethic would not allow that. Given a work, even if I don't want to do it, I can not really do knowingly bad.

There are instances where even though I am not impacted, I end up taking the case of the underdog. And I make fuss about it and the person who is impacted keeps mum. I have had cases where some people have taken advantage of it. They have been on my side till I have provided support, the moment I have asked them to fight their own fight, I have been branded a 'changed' person! I have lost a good friendship, where even after everything, I came out as being the 'Bad' girl. Whenever I think about it, I feel as if I could have done something different but am not sure what that could have been. I don't do anything to hurt anybody. If I have hurt anyone, it has never been intentional and I am truly sorry for the hurt! 

Why is being Good so difficult and why are good people thought to be passive? Or am I thinking too high of myself when I think I have been Good?