Homework Begins!

I didn't really expect it to start so soon but here they are, the first homework assignment for Shaurya has come. His Pre-School teachers mostly do reading, storytelling, games, puzzles, poems and other such activities. But now that he is in Nursery, they are starting on standing and sleeping lines as well. Proper writing activities are supposed to start post winter vacations so maybe it’s just the warm up.

Anyways Shaurya had fun doing this. Crayons and Paper – what more does a kid need. :-D After doing this, he wanted to do more; so I had to take out a rough notebook and make more patterns of standing and sleeping lines. He has filled up numerous pages already..  Just the beginning I guess.. lets hope this excitement continues as he grows up more and he gets some 'less interesting' homework.. ;-p

'Not having it all' versus 'Leaning In'

This Friday morning, as usual I was finishing up the morning chores and getting ready for office. When I was done, I had a few minutes to spare before going out to catch my office bus. I decided to start reading the newspaper (I read it in the bus. :-D) and my eyes caught the article from a recent interview of Indra Nooyi, the PepsiCo CEO. As I have always admired her, I was very much interested in the article. To add to the appeal, it was about her motherhood experiences. However I didn't really know what to make of the article; it kind of started me thinking. My first reaction was that of sadness - looks like the feeling of 'guilt' that working Moms have is universal and even an extraordinary amount of success doesn't wash it away completely. On further thoughts, I felt a kinship with her - So I am not the only one who has this 'guilt' bout on occasions. The article was on my mind the entire day (and even this weekend for that matter). I discussed this with M and even with my colleagues - few of them are on the same boat as me!

Since the Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg was in India recently and had addressed Indian women (mainly professionals) on her now famous philosophy aka book - 'Lean In', there was bound to be comparisons. In the Indian print media, both these differing thoughts created quite a buzz and whole lot of debates started. As a result, some really good articles came out focusing on motherhood and career. However in many of the comparative discussions, people out-rightly rejected what Indra Nooyi said.  I don’t really understand the thought process career women have when they say that Indra is not making sense at all. Am I the only one who thinks that maybe she isn’t talking all that nonsense? Let’s see what she has said.

Per Mrs Nooyi, “the biological clock and the career clock are in total conflict with one another”– She is so right! Your late 20’s/early 30’s is the time when you are rising up on the chain and breaking towards the managerial position in your workplace. It is also the time by when you need to ‘settle’ in your personal life.. and the settlement here includes kids as well. Many decide to have kids and this puts a delay in your moving up the ladder. Though in recent times, we see many exceptions to this. Some women focus more on their career, some more on their family and some try to balance it out! But it all does suggest that we are making choices and trying to balance it all out.  We cannot always “lean in” and many a times knowingly lean out. I agree with the Facebook COO that we sometimes lean out even before its needed and we need not kill our ambition just because we have a family to take care of. A fine balance between both the extremes is needed.

Women “cannot have it all" – Of course we cannot. No one can for that matter. We need to define what all needs to be included in this ‘all’ of ours.  A cost benefit analysis is always part of our decision making and planning process. You sometimes do not take a task in office voluntarily since it would mean more time away from your kid. As you leave for home early, your boss gives a critical and visible assignment to someone else.  There are N such scenarios. I can leave Shaurya and go to my office based on the plan that M will leave late for office and I will reach home early. With 2.5 hours of afternoon time in school and around 1 to 1.5 hours gone in nap, we thought this is doable. We miss out on a few things but that is our choice. Everyone makes similar plans and modifies his/her life around the kids with their best and in turn decide what ‘all’ is needed!

About the ”guilt” statement, I don’t think she is so wrong. I have had the same guilty feelings so many times. It is not like I am wallowing in guilt and self-pity but there have been many doubts. I worry, if my leaving him at home, will have a long term not-so-good impact on his attitude or personality. Since I come from a family where women have always been homemakers, this has been a difficult decision to make. But I have referred to many of friend’s and their mom’s experience and having a working mom doesn't seem to spoil a kid. I have my hopes set on the same and believe that Quality time matters more than Quantity. But then again the doubts resurface when I hear or read of a bad experience! And it’s not just one kind of guilt that women have – feeling guilty when you have to leave your child and go to office, there are also cases when women feel guilty for leaving their job for the kids!  I am sure men or shall I say fathers do not feel any such guilt since the role definition for them is clear, they are the providers (even in their mind). It’s we the nurturers who have all the doubts.. :-( ;-).

Since we cannot really have it all, we have to make choices and decide on the important ‘alls’ we want and then go for it. And the support of our spouse and family on this is a must have! We need to work together on all the decisions that are made. In the end, the important thing is to have peace with your decision.. I think it will ultimately remove all the guilt and associated feelings. As M said, Satisfaction will make you realize that you indeed ‘have it all’ !

Coffee, Starbucks and me

Just came back from the CCD (Cafe Coffee Day) outlet which has opened near our apartment. While Shaurya and M enjoyed chocolate doughnut and Kiwi Lemonade, I sipped into an excellent Cappuccino - the simple classic one. Whenever I have coffee in such cafes, I always remember the time I used to hate their coffees. 

Since young, I had always associated 'Coffee' with the delectable milky and 'relatively' strong Nescafe one that my mom used to prepare at home. We used to love them as it was always made late at night during rainy season! Since my father is a businessmen, he usually works late into the night tallying the finances and other work. On regular days, he (and we kids) used to drink milk. However when it used to be rainy and chilly nights, Papa often used to ask Mummy to prepare coffee. Obviously we used to ask for the same too! Mummy would prepare the coffee and all of us used to be sitting curled up on the bed enjoying the coffee in those cold rainy nights! It used to be awesome. As a result, I always associate coffee with rain :-)

One of the first time I had the cappuccino and espresso types was when I started working in Bangalore. I still remember how much I hated it. I found it very bitter; my mom used to prepare s little sweeter versions and though they were strong, they were not as strong as the ones made by cafe shops with freshly ground beans. Hence at the start, I used to avoid them. I developed the taste for these type of coffee only when I went to US. Few of my colleagues in office used to drink regular cappuccinos/espressos and even dark ones (no sugar-no milk/cream). I tried my first dark coffee on the flight to US. ( I just took a sip and threw the remaining :-D) 

Anyways I had my first Starbucks coffee there. I can't really remember what I liked about it, but for some reason I enjoyed it thoroughly! Maybe all that choices that they give you when you enter into a Starbucks just impressed the hell out of me :-D. From then on, I used to have it regularly so much so that a Latte and Cinnamon Bagel was my regular breakfast there (I know not very healthy but then I have never been a healthy eater.. something I hope to change gradually now). Even my last breakfast before returning back to India was a Starbucks Latte and Croissant. Once back in Bangalore, I used to miss Starbucks a lot (It wasn't there in India at that time); however I started liking the ones available in Barista and CCD outlets in Bangalore. Looks like they weren't so bad after all!  

Now we have Starbucks in India too and I get to enjoy it with M. You see apart from the lovely childhood memory associated with Coffee, I also have fond memories (and countless future memories to be made) of enjoying it with M. One of the first and best ones I have is during our courtship days, when M used to fly to Bangalore often (from Baroda where he was working at that time) to see me. One night, it was raining (as usual) and we were back in my apartment after watching a movie; M was dilly-dallying so that he could delay going back to his friends place & spend some more time with me ;-). To help him, I made some coffee and we enjoyed some beautiful moments together sipping the coffee and watching the rains on the terrace.

So Coffee time for me is always a small celebration kind of time.. whether with friends or family! Some people even have life changing events or memories associated with it as is the real life story of Michael Gates Gill in 'How Starbucks saved my life'. (Yup I have even read a book with Starbucks on its cover.. though Amu is to blame for it, she is the one who suggested it.. :-). It's a decent read.). I haven't had such profound experiences yet.. just enjoying my regular cuppa now!

The only constant thing

It's said that 'change' is the only constant thing. And after resisting for many years, I have finally changed the template design for my blog. (which you would have already noticed if you are here :-D)

The new design templates available at e-blogger have loads of feature which the classic design did not support. However I being 1). the lazy one, 2). not changing something which is working fine and 3) not liking too many changes, I kept it as is though many a times I thought of changing it. On some occasions I did try some new templates as well, but I could not find the existing fonts and colours that my blog had in the new ones and hence reverted to the old one again.

Recently Amu suggested if I could have the list type drop down in my blog which will help readers to easily navigate to older posts. In the old design, just a few of the recent posts used to come in the main page. To go to older ones, readers had to make quite a herculean effort. This made me take the final step and go ahead with the make over. 

So here it is.. the new look.. :-) I have tried to keep as many things as the old one as I could.. but then again.. change is good! Hope you like it.

PS: I wrote this post about 10 days back - the day I actually changed the template. So it's late but then better late than never.. ;-p

Z - Zeitgeist

I heard about this for the first time from my friend Ashwani. He had seen this documentary and while we were talking one day, he told me about it. It was before either of us were married or had become parents and at that time we used to watch a lot of movie and suggest good and interesting ones to each other. On further googling, I learnt that Zeitgeist is a German word which means "the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time" - quite a heavy word indeed. Anyways I got my hand on the DVD and watched it. 

The documentary is actually based on conspiracy theories and focuses on issues of Christianity, 9/11 twin tower attack and how big banks are trying to control the world. (Conspiracy Theory reminds me of the awesome Mel Gibson- Julia Roberts movie where Mel's character has a lot of conspiracy theories of his own.. Being a fan of both Mel and Julia, I had loved the movie. They look awesome together and though I have heard the movie didn't get much critical acclaim, I am totally positively biased towards it.. I think everyone should watch this movie.. multiple times!! :-) )

The documentary, though certainly not in the lines of Fahrenheit 9/11, is a decent watch. The things shown in the documentary looked too far fetched to be true. It looked like facts and opinions have been mixed together to make a khichdi. On Christianity, anyways there are lot of theories on how Jesus might be just a story or how he has decedents living among us (Da vinci code). Faith in God is something very personal and regarding belief in Him, it doesn't really matter what everyone thinks! About the 9/11 attacks too, I am not really convinced that govt would be involved or at least not do anything to stop it. But then again, politics, money and power is something which makes people do unbelievable stuff. Nothing is above reproach here. The big banks controlling and manipulating everyone for their benefit is quite conceivable. Overall the documentary was an interesting and different one time watch. 

And with this, I finish off my A-Z blogging challenge!!! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! :-D
Here I go now..

Y - Yours Truely

This post is totally meant for self promotion.. ;-p. I did not want to miss this chance of writing about 'me' again, what with the A-Z blogging challenge about to end soon and you never know it might be a year or so before I post again ..hehe... Btw can't believe I am about to finish it off tomorrow.. that too successfully! (There's a very minuscule chance that I will miss writing or posting on Z). So, here's what I think of myself..

• I am impulsive - many of the decisions that I take are totally on-the-fly momentary ones. Like this instance when I decided to change my maiden surname without any prior thought. 
• I flare up instantaneously but then I calm down pretty quickly as well; If I get angry, I regret losing my cool as soon as it's out of my system. 
• To top it all, I forget that a fight or disagreement ever happened - and in forgetting, I end of forgiving as well! :-) I don't think I hold grudges.
• I have a point of view on most (aka All) things and I don't hesitate to air it.
• I sometimes try to be a know-it-all, not wanting to appear unintelligent or ignorant.
• I am an optimistic person. Though when it concerns me, I dread that something negative may happen and try to be ready for the worst.. but deep down I believe in Karma and am sure that if you have been good, nothing too bad is going to happen.
• I also believe that everything happens for good only.. whether in the short or long term. 
• I have come to realize that I am not as patient as I thought myself to be. 
• Sometimes in a situation, professional or personal, I hesitate and miss out on good opportunities. 
• I am a 'go-with-the-flow' kind of person on most things. 
• As re-iterated many times on this blog, I am lazy especially when it comes to exercising. (It doesn't help that I am a foodie)
• I am an involved audience. I cry when I read a good book or watch a touching movie. I react to the scenes in front of me... M says its more fun to watch 'me watching TV' then actually watching the TV.
• I cry when I laugh..  tears just come streaming down my eyes when I laugh my heart out! ;-D
• My name supposedly means strong willed, though not very aggressive or wilful as such, I believe my will is strong and can not be broken easily. 

PS: Don't know why these flowery bullet points come when I use the e-bloggers bullet list.. anyways here it is.

X – X-men

Today was the worst day on trying to find a suitable topic with X. I was really tempted to write about the roman numeral ‘X’ aka 10 :-), I think it would have been apt as well. But just when I was about to give up, the newly released X-men movie came as my savior. I have been wanting to see this since it released last weekend but alas, till now I have not been able to. With this being a full action packed movie with different creatures in it, I am pretty sure I don’t want to take Shaurya to it. I will have to harden my maa-ka-dil a little and leave him at home while I enjoy this with M ;-) Let’s see when that happens. 

Anyways I have been a fan of the series since the first installment; not missing even a single movie in the franchise. Even though few of them have been pretty lousy, just seeing Wolverine in action gives me my money’s worth. :-D I am a ‘Hugh Jackman’ fan.. he is Gorgeous! (sorry M.. I know I shouldn’t really proclaim liking for someone else in public domain.. but.. it’s hugh jackman!) I have seen most of the movies that he has acted in and with my biased view, I have liked all; even something like ‘Real Steel’ :-S. 

So coming back to X-men.. they are ordinary human being who turned into Superheroes owing to gene mutation. Since mutation resulted in change in physical and psychological characters of people, normal humans showing their typical behaviour thought of mutants as weird and dangerous. In order to save the mutants and provide them a safe place, Professor Xavier gave them shelter in his huge institute. He also used this to mentor the mutants and train them to use their power for good.. Owing to this and the mutant gene, the name ‘X-men’ is used to refer to his team. It goes without saying that if there are mutants who use their power for good, there are also many who use it for evil. The task of the X-men is to triumph over the evil. This is the crux of the whole franchise. 

There are many interesting characters in the movie; I like both Prof X (who leads the good mutants) and Magneto (who leads the evil ones). I liked all the 4 actors who played the young as well as old prof X and Magneto.. they were all awesome! They were already good actors but I also believe the writing and director’s vision would have been crystal clear as well. Wolverine’s character is of course the pre-dominant one in the entire series and Mr.Jackman fits to the T. The most ‘least in-control’ X-men. Apart from them, I also like Hank, Cyclops and mystique. Overall, the series has a great ensemble cast; it is a good franchise which has been going really strong.. and as I mentioned earlier, I am eagerly awaiting my turn to see the ‘Days of future past’.

W - Words.. and words are all I have..

I had initially thought that I would write something on 'Wanderlust' with my love for travelling, but then I have written about it a little and once a 'partial' travelogue too. I had also thought of mentioning those beautiful lines from Tolkien’s LOTR “All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost.” :-D But then while thinking about this quote, it struck me that I can write about my love for Words. 

I have always been a sucker for beautiful words. Something said in a beautiful way can touch me deep down. Many a times I have liked some songs for their beautiful lyrics even though the music might not have been good. Not just spoken words of songs or movies, even written words can move me into tears. I absolutely loved the beautiful 'middle-earth' English present in the movie (and the book) LOTR.  Here is another Gem:

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends." 

or
"Deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised."

Apart from the lovely wise words and advise that Gandalf and others give in the book, even the usual conversation between all the characters is just wonderfully written!

Once I was reading the book "Uncle Tom's Cabin" on the bus while I was on my way to office; I came across some scenes which were poignant and extremely sad. I did not realize that I had started crying while reading them; only when I felt some eyes staring into me, I realized it. Such is the power of words! Good ones can make you fall in love with them.. be it the serious ones in Atlas Shrugged, LOTR, Uncle Tom's Cabin, etc or the outrageously funny ones in The hitch hikers guide to galaxy, PG Woodhouse, et all. Beautifully used and crafted words have a lasting impact.. I hope and wish that one day I learn to use them beautifully as well.

PS: Btw I just noticed that I wrote my 100th post when I was at U... yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... :-) I guess, it would have taken me few more years to reach there if it was not for this A-Z blogging challenge!

V – Vrata

As per wiki, Vrata is used to signify “a religious practice to carry out certain obligations with a view to achieve divine blessing for fulfillment of one or several desires. Vrata, a Sanskrit word , means to vow or to promise.” There are many ways of doing it, the one I know about and follow involves worship & fasting. The first vrata I did was the Maha Shivratri one for Lord Shiva. He is my favourite God; I am a fan of his entire family! :-D. Anyways, the first time I did it, it was all from a fun perspective. I was in class 9 I guess. My mom, grandma, grandpa, dad, aunty.. everyone was doing it, so I thought I would also do it. For Maha Shivratri fast, you are supposed to worship Lord Shiva, read the vrata katha (religious story hailing the deity and importance of that vrata), and observe a partial fasting. There is a carnival which happens on that day near the temple in our ancestral village so we go there as well. 

That first time, I abstained from eating food with grains and all, but the entire day I kept munching on nuts which my mom gave. Notice that I didn't mention fruits; they are healthy so nuts instead.. a very very partial and custom made fasting! ;-). It was not much of abstinence but more of eating only. To add here, what I have seen at our homes is fasting involves more eating and not less eating; 1) people eat more the night before since they have fast the next day, 2) on the day of the fast, you have preparations with loads of pure ghee and fatty stuff like potato halwa and 3) Next day again, people have heavy breakfast as the after-affect.  

As I grew, I learnt a little more on the significance of fasting. Again, with my love for Shiva, I did Solah Solmwar Vratas (Fast where you fast for 16 consecutive Mondays and do the last one on the 17th to finish it.. ) Initially I would pray for something and try to bribe God saying I will do the Solah somwar vratas if he gives it to me. Best thing is, the bribe would work; he would give it to me and so I would then do the vrata as promised. Though I do believe that he would have done that all by himself without the bribe as well.. he is the generous one.. what with all the 'vardaans' he kept on granting to everyone! Here I am a little superstitious as well – I believe that I should not ask anything directly for me.. it can be for my family and friends. Like those special powers that superheroes have.. can't use it for your own gain ;-D

When I do these fasts, I get a little ritualistic as well but then its mostly based on what I can do. For example, during my Engg days since I was staying at my aunt's home, I was a stickler for having all the things for Puja like supari, white thread, moli, banana, milk, honey, etc. If even one thing was missing, I would go buy it and then do the puja. As I started my professional life, time became a luxury so slowly I started loosening up a bit knowing that God is all encompassing and forgiving. See how necessity pushed me towards a more carefree attitude here and more liberal view on God. :-D But I still am a stickler to few non-negotiable things like a Puja, reading the vrat katha*, making some offerings and special puja on the 17th monday. There are some Vrats that I always do - karwa chauth, mahi chauth, hoi and some other (4 chauth's in a year and 2 other ones that we are supposed to do for our husband and kids. I know how biased our society is, not asking husbands to do anything like this but I still believe on what I should do and follow it)

As I have learnt more and grown up a little more, I have come to realize that these are just rituals/habits that our ancestors followed so that we dedicate a day to worshiping and praying without worrying about the normal day to day activities. From what I understand, the objective is :

1) to pray and think of God a little more and thank him for his blessings

2) to avoid Tamsic food (they are supposed to bring in negative thoughts)

3) for good health** (controlled eating to cleanse your system)

* Amu do you remember the Solahsomwar vrata katha when I did it at your home. You had laughed so much reading all those words like 'Praan-nath', 'Priyatama', etc.. in the book :-) I think about you every time I do this fast.

**This is one of the major reasons I do fast now.. ;-)

U - Us

Not the US of A but Us as in I, M and Shaurya - a crazy unit where each of us is busy driving the other nuts! ;-) This 'Us' started on Dec 12, 2008 with our wedding and in order to avoid our team settling down and being complacent, we had a new member inducted on Oct 11, 2011. The new member has helped keep both of us on our toes, though he has eaten into our 'Us' time... ! 

Each day has its unique share of experiences and adventures. Start of the day, we are thinking of ideas to make 'breakfast time' interesting for Shaurya and rapidly adjusting to his moods. Feeding him is a herculean effort (and most of our yelling and fights originate from here..).  If he eats properly, we are the happiest souls in the world. And then all the craziness begins.. a sample below.. 

M reads a book from 'Pepper Series' to Shaurya. 

M: In this book, Pepper will learn about Recycling! 

S: Reeee-cycle-ing.. ????

M: Recycling ka matlab hai reverse cycling.. :-S 

(M & Shaurya together remind me a lot of all those CnH strips where Calvin's dad is trying to explain stuff to him)

Shaurya dancing to the tunes of 'Billo Rani'

Playing on the phone 'Billo Rani!, Kaho toe abhi jaan de do...'

S starts dancing as the song starts and just as 'Billo Rani' is about to start, he jumps, kneels down and shouts... 'Billo Rani... kaho toe.. jaan de bo...' .. 

I am eating 'Kala Jamuns'.. 

I: Some of these are sour.. 

M: You become Sabri and make me Ram. Give me the sour ones

I: But Sabri should not give sour ones to Ram.. she should give the sweet ones..

M: Ok then make me Ravan.. give the sour ones.. ;-)

And this goes on.. too many to even remember all and on top of that, I forget.. :-( :-D
And.. "U and I, in this beautiful world..."

T - Thank You

This 'Thank You' is especially for my mom and dad for the awesome parenting skills that they have. After becoming a mother, I have finally come to appreciate how difficult it is to be a good parent and what amazing parents you have been. 

Being a parent is a demanding 24x7 work. Starting from the initial days, when your kid is small and totally dependent on you. Right from the frequent all day-night feedings & nappy changes to the colic attacks and regular vaccinations, you have a very hectic schedule and very less rest. All the time, you have to weigh & make choices for your kid - whether to bottle feed or not, should you use pacifiers, when to start potty training, when to ween him away, how to set up a routine, et all. You try to get reliable information on everything, weigh the pros and cons & hope that the choice you made is the best one. Then there are people who are ready to advice all the time, which are many a times good and practical ones but in your insecurity about your parenting skills, you sometimes take as criticism. Only to later try and incorporate some of those into your ways!

With Shaurya into his "Terrible Two's" now, good parenting has become even more crucial. He is like a sponge who absorbs everything that is around him. I & M have to be really aware of what he is surrounded with. If sometimes we get angry and say something, Shaurya picks it up fast and tries to inculcate in his actions. Sometimes we use some words/lines and then see him using it the next time. Like I say 'Kya kar rahe ho... ' quite often... and now Shaurya has started saying 'Kya kar rahe ho papa'/'Kya kar rahe ho mummy' :-) We are live role models for him and his attitude is a reflection of what we do! A very Tough Job!! Though the good thing is, you just have to be good role models and your kid will grasp those too. So its easy that way. Teaching Shaurya his, 'Please' , 'Thank Yous' & 'Welcomes' have been easy. He learnt early on when to use what, he even says 'Thank You God' every morning and night!

Many a times, I lose my patience whether it is his constant chatter or when he throws some tantrum or when I put a lot of effort to prepare his food but he doesn't eat, gets hungry and then cranky coz of hunger (a vicious cycle..).  And I am ashamed that I have shouted at him in such occasions and a couple of times slapped him and cried too.. :-( :-( Parenthood is very very difficult and hence I am all the more grateful for the way my mom and dad have handled it. I do not remember ever getting a scolding from you though I am sure I might have done similar (or worse) things as a kid and even now as an adult. You constantly worry about me and how I am doing things and I realize now that being a parent means always being concerned and worried about your kids well being. I hope I can learn to handle things with Shaurya, the way you did with us - with lots of love, patience and good sense. To my wonderful mom and dad, 'Thank you' for all your love. Love you a lot! 

S - Sudoku

Sudoku is a number placement puzzle. The objective is to fill a 9×9 grid with digits so that 1) each column, 2) each row, and 3) each of the nine 3×3 sub-grids contains all of the digits from 1 to 9 only once. You start with a partially filled grid, which you have to complete. Each puzzle has a unique solution. It is a fun puzzle and I like doing it a lot. Since it comes in the newspapers, I have been solving one puzzle each day for quite some time now. (I also like doing the ‘Loop the Loop’ & ‘Hitori’ puzzles which come in TOI) Math has always been my favourite subject so I am interested in anything that has to do with numbers. At the cost of sounding vain, one of the things that even my seniors at work appreciate is my comfort with financial numbers. In my appraisals, this has been mentioned as one of my strengths  for years now! :-D

Any ways, enough of blowing my trumpet.. ;-), I digressed. First time when I played Sudoku was back in 2006. I was in Bangalore and this puzzle started coming in the newspapers. There was an interesting co-incidence related to it at that time. I had travelled to US for a job assignment in 2006. During Christmas, we had a party at my director’s house. One of the games that they had planned was a game of Sudoku. We were given the puzzles and the person who finished it first would be the winner. As I had done it in the past and was really fast at it, I was the first one to complete it. In fact, I completed it in less than 3 minutes. Most of the people from my client side as well as team were very impressed. I got a nice gift coupon for Barnes and Noble (a book store there) as prize!

Here is how I go about solving it:

- I try to begin by looking at the 3X3 sub-grids which are the most populated. Based on the numbers present, I decide which of the 1-9 are missing and should be there.

- Then I start looking at the corresponding row and column to see the missing number can fit in there. Many a times, some numbers get rejected and only 2-3 choices remain. Sometimes you get even the one confirmed number with this elimination technique.

- Then I see which number is present the most times as each should be present 9 times in the entire puzzle. I pick that number and start checking that it’s present in each 3X3 sub-grid. If not, I try placing that number in the missing sub grid using the elimination technique again.

- Once you start filling in the numbers, it also helps in solving for other numbers which had 2-3 placement options before.

- Solving this way, you sometimes reach a point where you are stuck with 2-3 numbers looking equally right for a particular cell. If this is the case, move back and check everything again. You would have missed out on one number, getting it right will make others fall into place and complete the puzzle for you.

- If sometimes, I am not sure of what to put in a cell, I make a note of all the possible numbers that can fit in there and look at the overall puzzle again. It helps.

- There are some Sudoku’s which are really hard and take time but they can be solved. Always!

R – Red

I love the color Red. One of the three primary colors, I feel it’s the most vibrant one. I do like all the other colors as well, however Red is my absolute favourite.  It signifies energy, power and passion. It’s a bright color which demands attention and immediately lifts your confidence. While googling a little on it today, I realized that it also represents both the extremes of emotions; that is happiness as well as sadness.  There are numerous powerful phrases associated with it, be it the Red carpet events, Red letter days or Red lighted VIP cars. There are so many different shades of red – cherry red, blood red, crimson, ruby red, maroon, et all. But the best one remains the pure solid Red.  Being a Hindu, Red has always been a vital part of all our celebrations and rituals. Starting with the long red tikka and holy rice that is put on the forehead, the sacred red thread ‘moli’ that is tied on the wrist, the bright red sindoor on a married women to all the Red dresses and paraphernalia which is part of our festivities and especially a bride’s trousseau. Even the mehendi leaves a beautiful maroonish shade on the hands.

I have some beautiful Red sarees but one in particular is my favourite. Bought it from Bangalore when I went shopping with my friend Amu’s mom. I was not actually planning to buy a saree or anything for that matter but aunty said it looked lovely and insisted that I buy it. She said I was about to get married and would get ample opportunities to wear it. Thanks to Aunty for the suggestion! :-) It is one of the most beautiful shade of Red with rich golden work on it. I love wearing it in Puja’s and have worn it many times including on my first karwa chauth as well. (The only problem with heavy sarees though is you can’t repeat them often as either ppl remember or you end up wearing same one in all your pictures).

I remember in Bangalore, whenever I went shopping for clothes, out of the lot I used to like the Red Shirts/ T-shirts only. My friends had to actually stop me from buying further Red since most of my wardrobe was filled with that color and they said, people will think I just have one thing which I am wearing again and again. :-D. I can’t help it, I think everyone looks good in Red. It oozes such natural vibrancy, it attracts me immediately. At one time, I used to wear bright Red nail polish a lot. Got quite a bit of scolding from my friends and roomies at that time to just do away with it. They thought it was too loud considering I used to wear it to office as well.  I had to relent.  My love for Red continues though..  When we were deciding on buying a car, we choose the fiery Red colored one. So you see, Red rules! ;-p. 

As a very famous advertisement once said, “Give me Red!”

Q - Quiet Time

This is something which has become a rarity since we moved into parenthood. With a young kid in the house, you get used to all the noises he / she makes. And quite gradually you get so used to it, if some days you find your home quiet you feel something is missing. Like us :-) 

As a kid, I grew up in a house which was on the main commercial centre of the town, there were some or other sounds which you would hear the entire day. (luckily night time was quiet!). There was a paper mill and coal mines in our town, so there were lot of peaceful residential quarters for the employees working there as well. I was so used to my place that if I ever went to the quarters area, I used to wonder how people live there. It was so quiet, I found it eerie as if something is not quite right and something bad is about to happen. As I grew up and moved to hostel and other places, I started enjoying and liking the quieter neighborhood. 

When Shaurya was still a very young baby, I suddenly 'discovered' how noisy our houses are ( especially my parents and in-Laws place). I would be trying to make him sleep and some or other noise will wake him up. At our place, even people talk so loudly! Living in an apartment for quite some years now, I had forgotten how noisy houses can get. But as Shaurya is growing, we are also slowly adjusting to all the ho-halla. As parents, I & M have been getting used to our not so quiet evenings. The only time when Shaurya sits quietly and plays is when he is playing with his JCBs, Cars, & other automobiles; he drives all this on his bed and forms a long queue by putting them one after the other. One more thing which quietens him a bit is his cartoon show, Dinosaur Train or when we read him a story book, but even then he keeps on asking or telling something in between. 

With time, we have learnt to snatch some quiet time. In the evening, just before his dinner, we make him play with his cars and all. Gives us time to relax a little, before we get along with the task of making dinner. He also plays after his dinner but at that time we are busy finishing off our dinner and catching up on some news. After he sleeps off, our chit chat continues.. somedays we are asleep in the process of trying to make him sleep. :-) Also there are days when he is very tired or sleepy (in case he hasn't had his afternoon nap) and thus sleeps early. 

The gist is Quietness is something whose importance you realize only once you become a parent! :-D

P - Pictures in a Post

They say ‘A picture says more than a thousand words’. Then lets utilize some pictures to say some thousands of words. Guess this would make it my longest post ever.. ;-)

This is the pic of Shaurya the day (night) he was born. All pink, cuddly and adorable, he seemed good enough to be eaten. :-)

Look at his expression here.. just 3 days old and he seems all ready to take a panga!

Tightly holding on to his father’s hand in this one..

Cute little feet..

Having some really serious thoughts in his dreams I think..

After his maalish.. 

Recent ones....Acquiring some driving skills from his dad..

As a cute little tiger for his Play Group Annual day celebrations..

O – Old fashioned

With my everyday interaction with some peers and the younger lot (not a whole new generation, I mean 2-5 years younger folks), I have realized I am a little old fashioned. In many ways, I like things being done the simple old ways. And in some, I am orthodox as well ( :-( ). For example, I like it if men are chivalrous, helping women not because they need it but because it is more courteous. Actions like giving up your seat in a crowded public transportation, offering to hold the heavy luggage, opening the door for you, etc makes me feel good. I know in this age it sounds like going against the "Both are equal" stand.

Take the case of reading the newspapers or paperback novels. I still prefer it to reading it online. Love the way paper feels in my hand or the sound it makes when you turn pages. (Quite ironical, considering I am writing this on an e-blog aka. Online diary accessible to all.... :-D). Practically I totally understand the online world. It is way more easy to read content online, plus you don't contribute to global warming caused by all those trees cut for the papers. We are the most 'connected' generation via the social media but we are the least social. People who are not active on social media might have ‘fewer’ friends but have deeper friendships and relationships.

One of the subtle changes is the way the younger lot manages their work. They have a very balanced & practical work culture – they are more aware and smart workers. They know what they want to achieve and work accordingly. Not like us. If a work is assigned to me, I take it up with a sense of commitment and responsibility which sometimes gets too much. Being good is sometimes considered being diffident.

Ending with few quotes on 'Being old-fashioned' which I like and which helps sum it up..

I think the thing I miss most in our age is our manners. It sounds so old-fashioned in a way. But even bad people had good manners in the old days, and manners hold a community together, and manners hold a family together; in a way, they hold the world together. – Nancy Friday.

It is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned. – Oscar Wilde

N – Naughty or Nice

Naughty is an apt word that I would use to tell about Shaurya - I would have ideally used hyper-active or enthusiastic but blogs with ‘H’ & ‘E’ are already done.. :-D. Whenever my parents or in-laws call and they ask what Shaurya is doing, I invariably end of saying, ‘badmaashi’ (yea.. I am a bad mother; busy badmouthing him..  ;-p..). My son is full of mischief most of the time, though to be fair, they are quite innocent ones. With his abundant energy and an always busy mind, he is thinking of something or the other and trying to explore. And all this thinking leads to some really ‘naughty’ actions. If he is silent for a long time, we are quite sure something is happening. Once, as mentioned here, he was silently ruining the rangoli when I was thinking that he is admiring my handiwork. His naughtiness gives him a good sense of humour as well; many a times he would do something silly knowing that it would make us laugh. Recently he was pronouncing ‘birthday’ as ‘bourday’ just to heckle us. He would tell it and start laughing. My friend R tells me it’s the result of all those Calvin and Hobbes comic strips that I was reading during my pregnancy.

But I use ‘naughty’ here in the nicest way possible. After all, Kids are supposed to be naughty.. my sister says if Shaurya was a more good kid, I myself would worry what’s wrong with him, why isn’t he doing something. :-)He is a nice kid who listens when he knows that he should and sometimes doesn’t when he thinks he can get away with it. (Kids have a huge 6th sense and they can understand a situation just by the undercurrents, where as we as adults might just be seeing what is visible and missing out on subtle things) Though I would love to have him listen to me more.. sometimes he just tries me a lot. (It’s one of my major shortcoming that I lose my patience with him – the one person with whom I should be most patient!). So its not naughty or nice, Shaurya is both naughty and nice.

M - My In-Laws

When I had newly got married, I had thought of writing a post about my in-laws. But I didn't quite write anything back then as it would seem that my experience was clouded by the rose tinted glasses of initial days of marriage. I have always loved my parents and family and used to wonder how my in-laws would be. Will they be genuinely good persons whom I can respect for what they are instead of the relation that they represent, like my parents. I know everyone loves their parents/family and its nothing new, but I respect them more as they are 'good' not just to their families but to everyone. They would never do anything that could hurt others even if its for their own benefit. I have seen many people (as relatives, extended families, acquaintances) who might be good for their families but would not be so for others. I am glad that my in-Laws are even better. Many say that I don't really know as I don't have a sister in law (husband's sister), they supposedly change the equation. However I have seen many families with same set up as mine to know that I am blessed. 

The eldest in my (not exactly new) family is Dadiji (M's grandma). She is 87 now and one of the most cheerful and positive persons that I have met. Her flexibility, acceptance and understanding bowls me over. I am the only working daughter in law in the entire community (extended as well) and she totally gets me. As a marwari married women, you are supposed to do lots of rituals and pujas, however from the beginning she has been telling my MIL "Don't tell her, she is working, how will she do it, we will do it here on her behalf. Just tell her to pray." Most of the pujas that I started doing is coz my mom would tell me about it and then I would ask my MIL. I told her that I liked doing it, so she tells me now but tailors it based on my comfort. :-D. During Pregnancy, Dadiji once told me if I would leave the job once I have a kid, saying we don't really need the money and should take care of the kid. I had agreed saying we would do what's best for the baby. When I was there post my delivery, she never asked me to Quit but instead said what should we plan to do if I wanted to work again. I had already taken a long 10 month leave and when she learnt that the women who used to work at my mom's place for last 15 years has agreed to come with me to Pune, she was satisfied. She is a true Gem of a person! She has struggled a lot to take care of the family (she was a young widow and single handedly brought up her kids) and due to her hard work and attitude, the family is where it is. Everyone in my family loves and respects her a lot. She is the "soul" of our family. 

With the guidance of Dadiji, the entire family has got her nature and attitude. My father in law is a spiritual person who believes in soul consciousness. He is not concerned about things as much as he is about the quality of his relationships. He loves me like his own son. He does have a complaint with me though, that I don't take care of my health. He encourages me to do Pranayam and work on improving my immunity, I try but I hope one day I will be able to make him happy in this department. Regarding my mother in law, I see a lot of myself in her. We are so alike :-) She is a fun loving person and a foodie and a ghoomakad like me. Both my FIL & MIL are loving, giving, kind, super understanding and awesome grandparents. One of the things that I love most about them is their love for each other. They can not stay apart and I like how they let the other one know it and tease about it. It's really sweet!

My brother in law, bhabhi and their 2 kids - Sanskar & Arhcie. Bhaiya and Bhabhi are just perfect in everything that they do. They are concerned about and take care of everyone. You give them a task, they will never forget and ensure it's done. Even with his hectic schedule, bhaiya keeps calling us from time to time and checks on how we are doing. We have had fun vacations together with kids. The kind of fun we have had, they have been more like vacationing with friends than family. ;-) With so many people to show them the right path, its no surprise that the kids are excellent! One of the things that I regret is Shaurya missing out on all that love since we stay so far away. We have this dream of all of us staying together some day (maybe in bhubaneswar) and I wish and hope that the dream turns into reality soon. 

L - Love.

For today's post, I am gonna put the results of a fun quiz that I took. Got it as a forward recently. I have got some thing like this after a very long time. Used to get such random and some really illogical quizzes a lot when I had just started working. I guess when you and your peers first start the regular life of an IT professional, these are the fun things which are shared across a lot!

In the below one, based on your responses to some questions, the results will tell you whether you are love, joy or peace? :-D
Here's what I am..

You Are Love

Your happiness is giving, warm, and compassionate. You get satisfaction from personal relationships and connections. You're the type of person who loves to be in love, and that doesn't have to necessarily mean romantic love. You value deep friendships and knowing someone well. You consider your friends to be your family. You take a leap and put people first in your life. It's not about how much you get but how much you give.

Are You Joy, Love, or Peace?

A perfect ego booster.. makes me feel like I am an Angel! ;-) Now that I am "Love", let me see if the "Love of my life" concurs.

Do you, M? (PS: Just remember I already know the answer.. hehehe.. )

K - Kindergarten Years Ahead

Shaurya is about to start his kindergarten years this June. After he turned 2, we enrolled him into a playgroup in the December batch last year. The batches were for 2 hours. He is continuing in the same pre-school for Nursery as well. Shaurya loved going to the playgroup, in fact it was extremely difficult to get him home after his batch was over. He would continue playing there and we had to literally carry him out. Now that summer vacations are on, he is eagerly waiting for his school to start again. 

I still remember the doubts and concerns we had when we first decided to put him into Playgroup. He is a very active child and had gradually started looking forward to playing with kids his own age. We needed a way for him to play some more and spend some time with his peers, it would help channelize all of his energy as well. This was one of the main reasons for us to put him into playgroup and not directly enroll into Nursery. There was another factor - both I & M are working and Shaurya stays at home with his aunty, hence we wanted him to learn playing and sharing with other kids as well as give a little breather to aunty so that she can relax a little while. Taking care of an active child or any child for that matter is exhausting! :-D

Since Shaurya has always been with me, M, aunty and my sister (who was studying in Pune till last year and was with us), we were the ones he considered family. He would play and interact with others, provided one of us was with him. When he started Playgroup, I or M would be with him inside the classroom for the entire 2 hours. Later on, aunty started going with Shaurya. Since the December batch was new, there were many parents/caretakers who used to be with their kids as well. We wanted Shaurya to get used to the new place, people, routine and get comfortable, so that he gradually starts staying alone as well. After the first 2 days, when we tried leaving him inside and going out, he started crying and the teachers told us to stay in. I am really thankful to his Pre-School teachers for being so flexible and understanding with him and all the other kids. It's difficult for a parent to leave their child with someone else even though they know that all kids initially cry but get used to it soon, however I appreciate it if the school shows flexibility instead of having rigid rules. In the beginning, Shaurya wouldn't leave our side or play when we participated as well. After few days, he started playing with other kids but would look at us time to time to confirm that we hadn't fled. :-D. We also started telling him that he needs to go to the school alone, tell aunty bye at the school gate, say Good morning to his teachers, etc. Given time and patience, in about a month, he got comfortable and stayed in the school all by himself. It was a big milestone for him as well as us. 

We have seen some positive changes in him since he started Pre-school - he has become more social (he was social but had a little shyness, we see that decreasing day by day), he has started sharing his toys with others (though I still a long way ahead), he has learned many new things and words, he has become very very talkative (don't know if I should call it positive change). With his summer vacations getting over in about a month, I hope he enjoys his Nursery classes as well. Till now, it was all play but starting June, he will have to learn things as well. As of now, he looks interested in his ABCs, 123s and rhymes. Let's see what happens when the kindergarten year begins!

J – JCB

Yes you read it right, the theme for today’s post is JCB. JCB actually stands for J.C. Bamford Excavators Limited, a company which manufactures heavy construction and other related equipment. However the topic of my post are the bright black and yellow excavators that they manufacture, commonly referred to as the JCB. It is mainly used for digging and general landscaping/leveling. I guess most of us have seen those in places where construction is in progress. But till last year, I wasn’t even aware of what they were called, I wasn’t really interested. Learnt it only when Shaurya got interested in them. :-)

There is this vacant lot beside our residential society. Sometime around Jan/Feb last year, a JCB came there and started tilling the land. It was removing all the big boulders, metallic wires and other stuff present in the lot and was leveling it. Since it was a huge machine and was making a lot of noise, Shaurya was fascinated from Day 1. He used to sit near the window of his room and look at what the JCB was doing. And he was doing this for hours i.e, sitting near the window and watching :-D. I initially thought, he will get bored in few days.. but the tilling happened in the nearby lot for a long time.. (About 3 months or so & only during afternoons) and Shaurya was there watching it all the time. During that time, it was very easy for us to feed him. He would happily eat whatever was given as his attention was more on the JCB. He became a big JCB fan since that time. (And also a fan of tractor since tractors came to take away many of the things that the JCB was digging out). M even bought him his own toy JCB to play with.

We told Shaurya that next time when we go home, we will take him on board his Tauji’s (M’s brother) JCB. Bhaiya is into construction business and uses JCBs for his work. Anyways home trip, as always, were very hectic and we really couldn’t take Shaurya inside a JCB. Instead Bhaiya gifted  him a cool remote controlled JCB and a bright red tractor (and a train, bike & car as bonus! :-)).  Shaurya loves playing with them, he uses the JCB to pull up some of his mini airplanes and then puts them inside a truck mimicking how the real JCB digs dirt and loads into the trucks. Once M showed him some JCB videos on you tube, the result is whenever Shaurya sees us using the laptop now, he wants us to play videos of JCB.

Now a commercial space is getting constructed in one of the vacant lots nearby. Construction is in full swing and there are lots of JCBs and Trucks around. And of course Shaurya is busy watching them. As soon as he wakes up in the morning he goes to the terrace and sees if JCBs have started, if not, he shouts ‘Uncle, kaam chaalo karo’ (Uncle, start working!). If he is inside and he hears the sound of the JCB, he comes out running into the terrace. He gets his toys into the terrace and mimics the digging, loading and unloading acts! One weekend, M even took him to the JCB and the driver happily invited both M and Shaurya in. Shaurya was super excited and happy inside and kept on telling me and aunty about how much fun he had there and what he saw the driver doing. Now he wants to sit on a truck as well! :-D Don’t know how long this love affair will last, but it’s awesome seeing the fascination and excitement that kids have for some things!

I - Indulgence

Since morning I have been trying to think of a topic with letter 'I', however nothing interesting is coming into my mind. Then my friend R suggested that I write something about all the things that I indulge in (guess she thinks I am too indulgent.. ;-) ). I have always been a spendthrift; before my wedding I was not much of a saver and now I consider home loan EMIs as saving. :-D. Anyways let me tell about things that I use to pamper myself and which gives me guilty pleasure - enough to uplift my mood anytime.

• Good Food: Being a foodie, a good meal is something that is on top of my list of Indulgences. At Bangalore, my friends and I used to explore a new place to eat every week. A good movie followed up by a good meal has always been perfect for me. Even here in Pune, we like to try different restaurants on most weekends. Not just eating out, we try making different stuff at home as well. At home, even simple daal and rice made right gives a lot of satisfaction. A major portion of our Salary gets spent on food only. :-D
• Travel: I like travelling a lot - exploring new places, meeting new people, trying out new food, seeing a different culture or way of life.. it gives an awesome experience. Before Shaurya was born, it was easy doing all the travel. Now we have to plan a lot, however it is still a lot of fun. Shaurya also enjoys travelling. Since travel is one of the best way to expand your horizon with all the different experiences that you encounter, we plan for it on a regular basis. We have traveled with a 6 month old Shaurya as well and touchwood, every time he has adapted to the Journey quite well. Adjusting with what food he gets, how the weather is, what is the mode of transportation.... looks like we have a pukka Traveller in our home. 
• Good movie: I love movies especially English ones. I like good movies whether in English or Hindi or any language with subtitles on. But to be honest, I can like even the decent, not so great English ones. Anyways if its a good movie and I get to watch it uninterrupted (which is difficult with a small kid), nothing can be better than that. I have a huge collection of movies in my laptop and removable hard disk, plus I have many original DVDs of some of my all time favourite movies like LOTR Triology, GWTW, Godfather, Shawshank Redemption, Sholay, Andaz Apna Apna, among others. We used to go for movies nearly most weekends, though after the kiddo the frequency has reduced; we plan movie outings only for the ones that we have been waiting for.
• Good Book: I love reading novels. I am not much into non-fiction, it's mostly fiction for me. I can read any good and interesting book.. I temporarily forget food, TV, etc when I am reading. If it's some suspense thriller and I wanna know the end, I will read it continuously and finish it in a day to know the end. If it's good, I read it again, savoring all the little bits and pieces.  I know kindle and all have made reading all the more easy, however I somehow can't read on a laptop/phone, I need a hard copy.. need that feel of holding a book in your hand and turning its pages. A good book gives an amazing feeling of happiness and satisfaction.
• Chocolates: Typical of a women :-) But I absolutely love it. All the flavours, all the varities, most of the brands! Cocoa is one of my favourite flavours (along with Vanilla). I even use a cocoa based moisturizer. :-p

H - Happy Parents = Happy Kids

Read this while I was expecting.. very easy to say but very difficult to follow. Especially during your pregnancy, when your hormones are a little off the regular mark, your body is changing a lot and you are preparing yourself for the unexpected. :-) I do agree to this wholeheartedly.. it makes sense, if you are happy, everything around you including the life within you would definitely be happy! And we tried to make everything as stress free as we could, it helps that both I and M like to enjoy the present. We make plans for the future, at the same time, we are ready to absorb changes to the plan (Any change whether good or bad is initially difficult... you need time to adapt and enjoy even the positive ones). 

Even with all this flexibility, there were still fights we had during our pregnancy.. :-( I don't think we have ever fought as much as we did during that time. There was one instance in particular that I remember vividly specially coz I am very ashamed of it. It was the time when mummyji (my MIL) was here in Pune. I had had a small argument with M in the morning and was not talking to him.. my anger increased as he did not try to pacify and make up with me.. it was lunchtime and I said that I won't have lunch.. M became more angry he thought I was trying to blackmail him (no idea how it was a blackmail).  Anyways we fought in front of mummyji.. and I started crying (ok dont think that I am a cry baby, it was just the hormones at that time. It would make me cry on small small things...) and I took out the brahmashtra - I said I wanna go to my parent's place and mummyji was so worried about us since she hadn't seen us fight like this. That was really the lowest point of our fights.

Anyways I digress.. We generally cant remain angry for long, we are back to our normal self pretty soon.. it helps that both I & M forget and hence forgive as well. :-D We tried to be a happy couple and I think we succeeded most of the times.  Shaurya is a happy kid (touch wood!) and he is fun loving & enjoys everything. He also has his off days where he is cranky and irritated but those are few and far in between. It's not as if everything is perfect, I and M still have our fights but we make up! :-) However we need to be careful now, since Shaurya gets it when we are angry at each other and he comes near us, make funny faces, say some stupid things and try to make us laugh.. works like a charm! :-D So now it's more the case of our happy kid making us happy!

 

G - Good Girl

That's what 'at least I think' I have been and it has quite often turned out to be the problem of my life. I am the kind of person who too often keeps herself in the other person's shoes and tries to empathize - sometimes I end up thinking too much about the other person more than that person herself/himself. And of course there are repercussions of this. However more than anything else, I end up feeling like a fool.

To give you an example, I work for a US financial services client. I have a lot of evening calls which take place during the client timings. Since I work as a project manager, many a times I am needed on the calls as well. I have had people in my team who would say 'No' and not attend this. It's not like I cant say no, I just understand the need that I should be there. Now my assigned work demands that hence I have been telling for ages to get a release from the project, however since I am a 'good' resource, they won't release me. There are people who stop working or start producing bad outputs so that they get removed, but of course, I can't do that. My work ethic would not allow that. Given a work, even if I don't want to do it, I can not really do knowingly bad.

There are instances where even though I am not impacted, I end up taking the case of the underdog. And I make fuss about it and the person who is impacted keeps mum. I have had cases where some people have taken advantage of it. They have been on my side till I have provided support, the moment I have asked them to fight their own fight, I have been branded a 'changed' person! I have lost a good friendship, where even after everything, I came out as being the 'Bad' girl. Whenever I think about it, I feel as if I could have done something different but am not sure what that could have been. I don't do anything to hurt anybody. If I have hurt anyone, it has never been intentional and I am truly sorry for the hurt! 

Why is being Good so difficult and why are good people thought to be passive? Or am I thinking too high of myself when I think I have been Good?

F - Friendship

Let me begin today's post by wishing a very Happy Mother's day to all the Moms and mom's-to-be! They are the first relationship and the first love of your life. As Rudyard Kipling famously said "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers." Thank you Mom!

Today I am going to write about Friendship - One of the most beautiful relationship in the world. Friends are the family you choose. They encourage and inspire you. Give you a reality check when you are going  or about to go overboard. I have been blessed to have some of the world's most beautiful people as my friends. They are the ones who have influenced me and shaped my attitude. We have had loads of fun, we have shared laughter as well as tears, we have had discussions and disagreements, we have made many beautiful memories together - and even though some I haven't met since long, it is as if we are always in touch. My friends have guided and supported me, consoled and scolded me, they are the constant in this ever-changing world and they bring out the best in me. This post is dedicated to my best friends forever.. 

Friends, I am thankful and feel blessed to have you in my life. Love you a lot!

R: We are childhood buddies aka. langoti-ya yaar. We have been friends for nearly 2 decades now. In school, we used to sit together in the class. And though at that time, we were not into writing notes, both of us liked to draw and drew patterns on our books. We even had a combined drawing book where we used to take turns painting pictures and scenery. Though we used to fight it out for the top rank in our class, we never used to compete but used to share notes and help each other out. R is a live-wire who enjoys every moment and is always full of laughter and giggles.. a true blue punjabi! :-). At the same time, she is sensitive to others too. In life, many a times we drift apart from our school friends when we move into different directions, however I am proud of our friendship having survived through and grown stronger with each day. I have shared all those cliched friendship moments with her - the ones you get in forwarded emails like maggie and tea at night, all night movie marathon, late night walks to burial grounds, etc ;-p  Post school, we have mostly been in different cities (living together for a short again while  in Bangalore) but then again, friends are never really far away!

Amu: We met during engineering in Rourkela. I still remember the discussion when we warmed up to each other. It was during one of our lab classes. She and I were lab partners (I was roll#614 and she was #615. :-)). While talking, she told me that she had studied in Rourkela only and I was so excited when I learnt that she used to stay in a place which was near my aunt's house. This led to more talk and thus the ice broke. We were inseparable during our college days, you would always find us together. In classes, we had this habit of talking to each other by writing down on our notepads. I still have all those notes and papers with me and it's a beautiful nostalgia when I read it again. I have learned from her faith, strength, courage and frankness. A true Sagittarius.. with both of us being fire signs, we get along like a house on fire! :-D Though now she stays all the way in UK, we are in regular touch and everything still seems the same.

A: I met Mr.A through common friends in Bangalore. We weren't really friends though we worked together in the same company too. He is a very philosophical person (nicknamed Baba by his friends) giving some or other Gyan most of the time. To be frank, initially I was skeptical & didn't really trust that he is for true. He was always a friend of my friend. Our friendship really developed when he switched jobs and moved to Delhi. A case of distance makes heart grow fonder (It was easier to jhelophy all those Gyan on phone ;-p) A perfect gentlemen, he always thinks about others and is ready to help everyone whether he knows them or not.. he would even go out of his way to help his enemies. Our friendship developed slowly and steadily & he is now one of my BFF. 

V: V aka Mr. Popatlal, he was my team mate plus cubicle mate plus tea partner. He used to make office a real fun place. I still remember the times in US, we were in different far away cities but we used to talk a lot. During weekends, we would be talking for hours in the night.. till like 5-6 am in the morning.. he would have listened to some song and play it to me over phone. Those were some days! He is a fun guy who is always  on the move. A daredevil who will try everything for once. Even though he might want you to believe that he is a wild and carefree bird, he is a caring and thoughtful person. Sometimes you would be amazed with the kind of insight he has about things.

M: I think I have written so much about us already. He is my friend, my lover, my husband, my partner! We fight, we make up.. we fight again.. :-D My life has had a whole new meaning since he came into it. And I have enjoyed deciphering each and all of these different new things. A perfect partner and a perfect friend!

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.

Even longer,' Pooh answered.” 

E – Election Time

It’s election time and this summer, the whole nation is caught up in the heat. I think the 2014 general election is one of the most talked about, covered and anticipated elections in India. This is one topic on which I have some or other discussion everyday be it in office or at home or with friends (It's not only Media who is super excited about it). With the last phase of elections taking place on 12th May, we will soon be bombarded with all the different exit poll results. Everyone of us is waiting for May 16 when the results will be out. M even suggested we take a day off to see the live results on TV. :-D 

One of the world's largest democracy is into polls and hats off to election commission for managing it all. I am sure its not an easy task. There have been many issues like missed names on voter lists, allegations of bias and unfair treatment, fudging of numbers, etc. However seeing the herculean task of doing elections in such a diverse country with such a huge population, EC is able to plan and conduct the elections without any major issues. This in itself is a huge achievement. When I & M went to cast our vote here in Pune, we were pleasantly surprised to see how smooth everything was. There were lot of polling booths and officials present at the Polling Centre to handle the large number of voters that a city like Pune has.

As per report, there has been a decent increase in the percentage of people who have voted till now as against the previous years. General public has a lot of enthusiasm to vote this year - with a large number of first time voters, youth who have become eligible to vote, plus the emergence of AAP (Aam Adami Party) who is professing a fresh kind of clean and honest politics. However one of the reasons for this is also the awareness that EC has tried to create through various channels/drives, urging the nation to vote.

The major issue in this election seems to be corruption and development. People are disappointed with the way UPA2 has handled the country over the last 5 years. There were lot of scams and we moved backward. For me, the major disappointment was the way everyone in the Govt seemed to have a thick skin and arrogance, not caring of what people think. And hence everyone is looking forward to a change. BJP led NDA has exploited this resentment to the fullest and their campaign is mainly focused on the development plank. From the looks of it, they seem to be headed for the highest number of seats, however we, Indians are known to give surprises.. sometimes even painful ones (remember 2004.. I couldn't believe that NDA lost it that time :-( ). Anyways lets hope, whatever happens, we have a stable Govt. (I dread the situation where we have a weak third-front Govt. which is a khichdi of all these regional parties and their PM-in-waiting leaders). And hopefully, it will be a Govt which will try to take the country forward with a vision of development.  Waiting for May 16 with lots of hope!

D – Dinosaur Train

This is a cartoon show which my son has started watching recently and he totally loves it. Comes on the ZQ channel here. It’s about a family of dinosaurs - the Pteranodons (I had to google to get it right.. ;-D ) where the mother dinosaur, Mrs Pteranodon finds a different dinosaur species egg in her nest where 3 of her own eggs are also there. All 4 hatch at the same time. There are 3 Pteranodon kids – Don, Shiny and Tiny and of course the 4^th one who is a T-Rex, Buddy. Mrs P raises buddy as her kid. All 6 of them (including Mr P :-) ) are a family who travel the world (the prehistoric Jurassic and other time period) in the dinosaur train and learn about different species of dinosaurs.

All of us (including M) love the show. I especially like the opening theme song which tells us about the show (all that I have written above) in a really nice way. Shaurya loves this song and sings it a lot.. he can’t really pronounce everything though he tries hard but he does shout with the chorus of Dinosaur Train towards the end.  Here's the Lyrics:

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a mom

Her name was Mrs. Pteranodon

Sitting on her nest, she heard a scratching and said

 MRS. P: Oh, boy, my eggs are hatching!

 NARRATOR: One by one, the kids popped free

Baby pteranodons, one, two, three

MRS. P: I'll name you Tiny, Shiny and Don.

NARRATOR: But Tiny said

TINY: Wait! There's one more, mom!

NARRATOR: The last little baby had a different size

With teeth and a tail and big green eyes

He didn't look anything like the rest

BUDDY: What am I doing in a pteranodon nest?

NARRATOR: But dear old Mrs. Pteranodon said

MRS. P: Oh, this is your family and I'm your mom.

You may be different, but we're all creatures.

All dinosaurs have different features.

Come on, Buddy, we'll take a vacation.

I'll get us a ticket in Pteranodon Station.

We'll travel the world in sunshine and rain

And meet all different species on the... Dinosaur Train

The show is really interesting. When we initially started watching it, we thought maybe all the different species that they show is imaginary but we were surprised to learn that it wasn't so. A paleontologist, Dr. Scott D. Sampson, is associated with the show and provides information on the different Dinosaurs. Along with helping you know about all the different kind of dinosaurs and time periods, it gives positive messages to the kids in real good way. The 4 dinosaur siblings – Don, Tiny, Shiny and Buddy have a lot of fun together, they are eager to explore new places and meet other dinosaurs. They enjoy making new friends. The show also emphasizes on how they (we) may be from different species (religion, culture, physical appearance or lifestyle) but each of them (us) have unique skills that makes them (us) special. So in a way, it teaches kids how being different is fine and you can still be friends and respect & learn from each other. I also like the way Mr & Mrs P support their kids and encourage them to try on new things and help them learn. They always have the ‘you-can-do-it’ attitude for everyone, egging them to try hard and supporting them if they can’t. I think Journeys are one of the best ways that help you expand your horizon. Among other things, you learn to mingle with strangers, discover new places, adjust to new food and culture. Hence it makes sense that all this is done while they are on a fun journey on the Dinosaur Train.

Shaurya likes it so much, he has given us new names as well. He is Shiny (he doesn’t understand gender differences yet :D), M is Don and I am Buddy. (But then maybe he knows we are different gender coz he and his dad are of one species and I am from a different one :D)