H - Happy Parents = Happy Kids

Read this while I was expecting.. very easy to say but very difficult to follow. Especially during your pregnancy, when your hormones are a little off the regular mark, your body is changing a lot and you are preparing yourself for the unexpected. :-) I do agree to this wholeheartedly.. it makes sense, if you are happy, everything around you including the life within you would definitely be happy! And we tried to make everything as stress free as we could, it helps that both I and M like to enjoy the present. We make plans for the future, at the same time, we are ready to absorb changes to the plan (Any change whether good or bad is initially difficult... you need time to adapt and enjoy even the positive ones). 

Even with all this flexibility, there were still fights we had during our pregnancy.. :-( I don't think we have ever fought as much as we did during that time. There was one instance in particular that I remember vividly specially coz I am very ashamed of it. It was the time when mummyji (my MIL) was here in Pune. I had had a small argument with M in the morning and was not talking to him.. my anger increased as he did not try to pacify and make up with me.. it was lunchtime and I said that I won't have lunch.. M became more angry he thought I was trying to blackmail him (no idea how it was a blackmail).  Anyways we fought in front of mummyji.. and I started crying (ok dont think that I am a cry baby, it was just the hormones at that time. It would make me cry on small small things...) and I took out the brahmashtra - I said I wanna go to my parent's place and mummyji was so worried about us since she hadn't seen us fight like this. That was really the lowest point of our fights.

Anyways I digress.. We generally cant remain angry for long, we are back to our normal self pretty soon.. it helps that both I & M forget and hence forgive as well. :-D We tried to be a happy couple and I think we succeeded most of the times.  Shaurya is a happy kid (touch wood!) and he is fun loving & enjoys everything. He also has his off days where he is cranky and irritated but those are few and far in between. It's not as if everything is perfect, I and M still have our fights but we make up! :-) However we need to be careful now, since Shaurya gets it when we are angry at each other and he comes near us, make funny faces, say some stupid things and try to make us laugh.. works like a charm! :-D So now it's more the case of our happy kid making us happy!

 

G - Good Girl

That's what 'at least I think' I have been and it has quite often turned out to be the problem of my life. I am the kind of person who too often keeps herself in the other person's shoes and tries to empathize - sometimes I end up thinking too much about the other person more than that person herself/himself. And of course there are repercussions of this. However more than anything else, I end up feeling like a fool.

To give you an example, I work for a US financial services client. I have a lot of evening calls which take place during the client timings. Since I work as a project manager, many a times I am needed on the calls as well. I have had people in my team who would say 'No' and not attend this. It's not like I cant say no, I just understand the need that I should be there. Now my assigned work demands that hence I have been telling for ages to get a release from the project, however since I am a 'good' resource, they won't release me. There are people who stop working or start producing bad outputs so that they get removed, but of course, I can't do that. My work ethic would not allow that. Given a work, even if I don't want to do it, I can not really do knowingly bad.

There are instances where even though I am not impacted, I end up taking the case of the underdog. And I make fuss about it and the person who is impacted keeps mum. I have had cases where some people have taken advantage of it. They have been on my side till I have provided support, the moment I have asked them to fight their own fight, I have been branded a 'changed' person! I have lost a good friendship, where even after everything, I came out as being the 'Bad' girl. Whenever I think about it, I feel as if I could have done something different but am not sure what that could have been. I don't do anything to hurt anybody. If I have hurt anyone, it has never been intentional and I am truly sorry for the hurt! 

Why is being Good so difficult and why are good people thought to be passive? Or am I thinking too high of myself when I think I have been Good?

F - Friendship

Let me begin today's post by wishing a very Happy Mother's day to all the Moms and mom's-to-be! They are the first relationship and the first love of your life. As Rudyard Kipling famously said "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers." Thank you Mom!

Today I am going to write about Friendship - One of the most beautiful relationship in the world. Friends are the family you choose. They encourage and inspire you. Give you a reality check when you are going  or about to go overboard. I have been blessed to have some of the world's most beautiful people as my friends. They are the ones who have influenced me and shaped my attitude. We have had loads of fun, we have shared laughter as well as tears, we have had discussions and disagreements, we have made many beautiful memories together - and even though some I haven't met since long, it is as if we are always in touch. My friends have guided and supported me, consoled and scolded me, they are the constant in this ever-changing world and they bring out the best in me. This post is dedicated to my best friends forever.. 

Friends, I am thankful and feel blessed to have you in my life. Love you a lot!

R: We are childhood buddies aka. langoti-ya yaar. We have been friends for nearly 2 decades now. In school, we used to sit together in the class. And though at that time, we were not into writing notes, both of us liked to draw and drew patterns on our books. We even had a combined drawing book where we used to take turns painting pictures and scenery. Though we used to fight it out for the top rank in our class, we never used to compete but used to share notes and help each other out. R is a live-wire who enjoys every moment and is always full of laughter and giggles.. a true blue punjabi! :-). At the same time, she is sensitive to others too. In life, many a times we drift apart from our school friends when we move into different directions, however I am proud of our friendship having survived through and grown stronger with each day. I have shared all those cliched friendship moments with her - the ones you get in forwarded emails like maggie and tea at night, all night movie marathon, late night walks to burial grounds, etc ;-p  Post school, we have mostly been in different cities (living together for a short again while  in Bangalore) but then again, friends are never really far away!

Amu: We met during engineering in Rourkela. I still remember the discussion when we warmed up to each other. It was during one of our lab classes. She and I were lab partners (I was roll#614 and she was #615. :-)). While talking, she told me that she had studied in Rourkela only and I was so excited when I learnt that she used to stay in a place which was near my aunt's house. This led to more talk and thus the ice broke. We were inseparable during our college days, you would always find us together. In classes, we had this habit of talking to each other by writing down on our notepads. I still have all those notes and papers with me and it's a beautiful nostalgia when I read it again. I have learned from her faith, strength, courage and frankness. A true Sagittarius.. with both of us being fire signs, we get along like a house on fire! :-D Though now she stays all the way in UK, we are in regular touch and everything still seems the same.

A: I met Mr.A through common friends in Bangalore. We weren't really friends though we worked together in the same company too. He is a very philosophical person (nicknamed Baba by his friends) giving some or other Gyan most of the time. To be frank, initially I was skeptical & didn't really trust that he is for true. He was always a friend of my friend. Our friendship really developed when he switched jobs and moved to Delhi. A case of distance makes heart grow fonder (It was easier to jhelophy all those Gyan on phone ;-p) A perfect gentlemen, he always thinks about others and is ready to help everyone whether he knows them or not.. he would even go out of his way to help his enemies. Our friendship developed slowly and steadily & he is now one of my BFF. 

V: V aka Mr. Popatlal, he was my team mate plus cubicle mate plus tea partner. He used to make office a real fun place. I still remember the times in US, we were in different far away cities but we used to talk a lot. During weekends, we would be talking for hours in the night.. till like 5-6 am in the morning.. he would have listened to some song and play it to me over phone. Those were some days! He is a fun guy who is always  on the move. A daredevil who will try everything for once. Even though he might want you to believe that he is a wild and carefree bird, he is a caring and thoughtful person. Sometimes you would be amazed with the kind of insight he has about things.

M: I think I have written so much about us already. He is my friend, my lover, my husband, my partner! We fight, we make up.. we fight again.. :-D My life has had a whole new meaning since he came into it. And I have enjoyed deciphering each and all of these different new things. A perfect partner and a perfect friend!

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.

Even longer,' Pooh answered.” 

E – Election Time

It’s election time and this summer, the whole nation is caught up in the heat. I think the 2014 general election is one of the most talked about, covered and anticipated elections in India. This is one topic on which I have some or other discussion everyday be it in office or at home or with friends (It's not only Media who is super excited about it). With the last phase of elections taking place on 12th May, we will soon be bombarded with all the different exit poll results. Everyone of us is waiting for May 16 when the results will be out. M even suggested we take a day off to see the live results on TV. :-D 

One of the world's largest democracy is into polls and hats off to election commission for managing it all. I am sure its not an easy task. There have been many issues like missed names on voter lists, allegations of bias and unfair treatment, fudging of numbers, etc. However seeing the herculean task of doing elections in such a diverse country with such a huge population, EC is able to plan and conduct the elections without any major issues. This in itself is a huge achievement. When I & M went to cast our vote here in Pune, we were pleasantly surprised to see how smooth everything was. There were lot of polling booths and officials present at the Polling Centre to handle the large number of voters that a city like Pune has.

As per report, there has been a decent increase in the percentage of people who have voted till now as against the previous years. General public has a lot of enthusiasm to vote this year - with a large number of first time voters, youth who have become eligible to vote, plus the emergence of AAP (Aam Adami Party) who is professing a fresh kind of clean and honest politics. However one of the reasons for this is also the awareness that EC has tried to create through various channels/drives, urging the nation to vote.

The major issue in this election seems to be corruption and development. People are disappointed with the way UPA2 has handled the country over the last 5 years. There were lot of scams and we moved backward. For me, the major disappointment was the way everyone in the Govt seemed to have a thick skin and arrogance, not caring of what people think. And hence everyone is looking forward to a change. BJP led NDA has exploited this resentment to the fullest and their campaign is mainly focused on the development plank. From the looks of it, they seem to be headed for the highest number of seats, however we, Indians are known to give surprises.. sometimes even painful ones (remember 2004.. I couldn't believe that NDA lost it that time :-( ). Anyways lets hope, whatever happens, we have a stable Govt. (I dread the situation where we have a weak third-front Govt. which is a khichdi of all these regional parties and their PM-in-waiting leaders). And hopefully, it will be a Govt which will try to take the country forward with a vision of development.  Waiting for May 16 with lots of hope!

D – Dinosaur Train

This is a cartoon show which my son has started watching recently and he totally loves it. Comes on the ZQ channel here. It’s about a family of dinosaurs - the Pteranodons (I had to google to get it right.. ;-D ) where the mother dinosaur, Mrs Pteranodon finds a different dinosaur species egg in her nest where 3 of her own eggs are also there. All 4 hatch at the same time. There are 3 Pteranodon kids – Don, Shiny and Tiny and of course the 4^th one who is a T-Rex, Buddy. Mrs P raises buddy as her kid. All 6 of them (including Mr P :-) ) are a family who travel the world (the prehistoric Jurassic and other time period) in the dinosaur train and learn about different species of dinosaurs.

All of us (including M) love the show. I especially like the opening theme song which tells us about the show (all that I have written above) in a really nice way. Shaurya loves this song and sings it a lot.. he can’t really pronounce everything though he tries hard but he does shout with the chorus of Dinosaur Train towards the end.  Here's the Lyrics:

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a mom

Her name was Mrs. Pteranodon

Sitting on her nest, she heard a scratching and said

 MRS. P: Oh, boy, my eggs are hatching!

 NARRATOR: One by one, the kids popped free

Baby pteranodons, one, two, three

MRS. P: I'll name you Tiny, Shiny and Don.

NARRATOR: But Tiny said

TINY: Wait! There's one more, mom!

NARRATOR: The last little baby had a different size

With teeth and a tail and big green eyes

He didn't look anything like the rest

BUDDY: What am I doing in a pteranodon nest?

NARRATOR: But dear old Mrs. Pteranodon said

MRS. P: Oh, this is your family and I'm your mom.

You may be different, but we're all creatures.

All dinosaurs have different features.

Come on, Buddy, we'll take a vacation.

I'll get us a ticket in Pteranodon Station.

We'll travel the world in sunshine and rain

And meet all different species on the... Dinosaur Train

The show is really interesting. When we initially started watching it, we thought maybe all the different species that they show is imaginary but we were surprised to learn that it wasn't so. A paleontologist, Dr. Scott D. Sampson, is associated with the show and provides information on the different Dinosaurs. Along with helping you know about all the different kind of dinosaurs and time periods, it gives positive messages to the kids in real good way. The 4 dinosaur siblings – Don, Tiny, Shiny and Buddy have a lot of fun together, they are eager to explore new places and meet other dinosaurs. They enjoy making new friends. The show also emphasizes on how they (we) may be from different species (religion, culture, physical appearance or lifestyle) but each of them (us) have unique skills that makes them (us) special. So in a way, it teaches kids how being different is fine and you can still be friends and respect & learn from each other. I also like the way Mr & Mrs P support their kids and encourage them to try on new things and help them learn. They always have the ‘you-can-do-it’ attitude for everyone, egging them to try hard and supporting them if they can’t. I think Journeys are one of the best ways that help you expand your horizon. Among other things, you learn to mingle with strangers, discover new places, adjust to new food and culture. Hence it makes sense that all this is done while they are on a fun journey on the Dinosaur Train.

Shaurya likes it so much, he has given us new names as well. He is Shiny (he doesn’t understand gender differences yet :D), M is Don and I am Buddy. (But then maybe he knows we are different gender coz he and his dad are of one species and I am from a different one :D)

C – Community Culture

This is one thing that I wish we as Indians had. (This is no way related to the word ‘communal’ and how it has been exploited by everyone be it politicians or media or so called thinkers).

India is a diverse county with people from many different communities and culture living together. However there is very little sense of ‘community culture’ that you see. We do not interact and collaborate on things that matter to us together as a group and which can be really addressed only if all of us stand as one.

At the municipality /town / area or even at our own residential complex level, we can form groups and work for development. We need not wait for NGOs to do it or lament that government agencies do nothing; we should be in a position to get them to do their work. I have seen people not being bothered if something does not impact them directly but it’s such a short sighted view, sooner or later, that same thing will come back and haunt you as well. As long as our house is clean, we do not bother about throwing garbage anywhere else be it on roads or someone else’s house. Even educated people do not have awareness of the same.

In developed countries, you hear about so many things that people are involved it. Ordinary citizens form groups and meet with local government officers with the needs of the community and how it can be met. Since we as Indians are not united together and do not think of ourselves as a single group which rises or falls together, our voices are not even heard by the establishment. The maximum sense of social responsibility that we seem to have is to vote (Fyi, elections are in progress here) and that too is done by less than 50% of the population. I know there are a lot of loopholes in the system but unless and until we raise our voices together, no one is going to come and close these loopholes.

Couple of things that I think we can definitely work together on and whose results can be seen pretty soon:
-          First and foremost, before we begin to work as a community, we need to learn to respect and be thoughtful of each other and appreciate our cultural or religious differences.
-          Cleanliness is one thing we need to focus on immediately. We need to ourselves be more aware about it and ensure our family is too. If our parents or kids or spouse or friends are throwing things on the road and not inside the dustbin, we need to keep on pointing it out, till they get it.  We don’t really need Govt to form rules and laws for everything.
-          Let our family know the importance of conserving natural resources like water or even things like electricity, paper, plastic, et all. 
-          Encourage everyone to recycle and reuse. Make do with one tissue instead of 2 or even better use your own handkerchiefs.
-          At our residential society or apartment level, we can work together and try to keep it clean.
-          We can try some volunteer work – teach your maid / their kids / organize cloth donation and other similar drives in your society / visit old age homes, orphanages and spend time. I do see a lot of around doing it now, however we still have a long way to go.
-          We need to work together and draw attention of everyone to the issues that we are facing and raise it to concerned Govt departments

B – It’s a Boy thing!

I was going to say that I am done with letters A, B & C at the same time yesterday with my first post. But then I thought I did try and got out easy with the article ‘A’ ;-) So here’s my 2^nd post – B is for Boys. When we were expecting our kid, we were pretty sure it’s going to be a Girl. M & I used to refer to our yet to be born kid accordingly. She was going to be our little angel. So I was a little surprised when in the delivery room, I was told ‘It’s a boy!’. I thought it’s going to be a different experience. You see I have been raised in an all Girls’s house. We are 4 sisters ( and though I have a younger brother however by the time he came into our lives, I was already out of home) and we had a lot of fun and masti in our full house! :-)
I have always believed that a Girl actually makes a home “home”. With her emotion, creativity and thoughtfulness, she adds life to ordinary days and enhances all the celebrations. She will never forget a birthday or an anniversary, make elaborate plans for it and generally fuss around you. Boys though are a different ball game. I am not saying they are unemotional or forgetful, they are just different :-) And now that I am a mother to a young boy, I see many minute differences between the way he behaves and what I had come to expect from my childhood experiences. Many things that M relates to instantly.

-          Boys love their cars (and truck and jeeps and JCBs and bikes and cycles…. ) – Shaurya has loads and loads of different kind of automobile toys and he can play with them for quite some time every day. The kind of time I spent with my dolls. :-D  ( I had a cute Barbie doll and I used to celebrate her birthday, throw parties for her, I even married her off with another friend’s doll.) Shaurya also has a cycle and a car that he rides and spends hours driving them inside the house. Whenever we go to a toy store (for buying a gift for someone), his eyes are set on some or other new cars that he sees in the Toy store. I have come to believe that the love for automobiles might be in the Genes.
-          Boys love action – Whether Shaurya has to watch it or do it, he is hyper active and will always be on the move. It’s difficult to find him sitting and playing and if you do find him in that state, it won’t be that long. :-) Shaurya is kind of best friends with our neighbor’s daughter, H. They are nearly same age.  However it’s fun to watch them play together. Shaurya will want to run around the house and H wants to sit and play house. Both of them do play along with the other, however you can see them getting uninterested soon.
-          Boys don’t listen – One of things that I am trying to do now is make Shaurya share his toys with other kids. When other kids come home to play, it is a really difficult for me to make him understand that he needs to share his toys. And not just with this thing, but most of the things. I see that he has a lesser attention span to what I am saying. I will be saying something and he will be thinking something else, thus he would not understand since he is not even listening to me. This (and M to an extent) has led me to conclude that Boy’s don’t listen! :-D
-          Boys are more emotional than we think – As I had mentioned earlier, girls are the emotional lot. However I have observed that boys are emotional too, they just don’t show it that much. One of the first times that Shaurya fell sick was when M had to go out of town for a team outing. He developed fever all of a sudden and equally suddenly, he was all good when M was back in 2 days. Once M had taken Shaurya for an errand. M’s bike was taken by the traffic police for incorrect parking. Since M didn't carry his DL along, they had to walk back home. Shaurya was concerned and asking about it. I have seen him observe things and worry if it involves us.
-          They drive you mad – Shaurya will do things knowing I will be angry just for the heck of it. Some of his antics are really too much for me however as per M, I haven’t seen anything yet. May God give me the patience to go through it all with my wits intact.

A – A challenging beginning

I learnt about the A-Z blogging challenge in one of the blogger’s page that I follow regularly. I love to read about Sayesha and her views. Her writing is super witty and funny. (As you can make it from her blog title.:-) ) If you are one of the 2 ppl who still read my blog, chances are you already know about her blog and are a more regular follower there. This last month, she had taken up the April A-Z blogging challenge and had put some amazing posts. As per the challenge, you need to write one post a day with topics based on letters of the alphabet in sequence. So in total 26 posts in April for letters A to Z.
 

I am totally inspired to try something similar. I know I am already late, the whole world took this challenge up in April and completed it successfully. However as they say ‘Better late than Never’.

Seeing how regular I am on posting in my blog, I may just fail on it tomorrow itself.. :-D But again as they say ‘Better to have tried and failed than not tried at all’ :-)  (hehehe.. this just gave me an idea… some days I might just post some inspirational quotes and try to cheat my way with the challenge.. ;-p)

I have not written 26 posts in even a year or 2 years if u want to be specific, so writing 26 posts in a month is a herculean effort for me. But it’s still worth a try! So let me begin today.. making it the first post in the A-Z challenge. You might say that ‘A’ used as an article and not a noun in this post may not exactly qualify.. but ‘A’ is still an ‘A’. I have always been biased towards the letter ‘A’.. as you can see my name also starts with an A so of course I am entitled to the bias. I think it’s the best letter in the English alphabet.. what say?

Mumma's first letter

I wanted to write a post for Shaurya’s second birthday which was on 11^th Oct but just didn’t get a chance to write anything. I can’t believe how soon time flies. Kids grow up so fast. Shaurya will soon be starting play group. :-) It seems only yesterday when I was expecting him. It was such a wonderful experience having him inside my womb. With so much energy that he has (he doesn’t sit still for a moment), no wonder he used to move and kick so much inside. Sometimes I think it must have been really difficult for him to keep floating and be constrained in such a small space. :-D

During Pregnancy, one of the best surprises were these beautiful letters (aka emails) that I used to get from M. (Post marriage, M has become really good at giving surprises. He was really hopeless earlier but now he is even better than me.. ;-D ). These letters were sent by our child via M as the writing medium. I used to love getting these letters and used to wait eagerly for them.. only concern was they were not very frequent - they came only once a month. Pasting below the content of the first letter that my kid sent.. :-)

My Dear Mumma,
Many many Congratulations :-) !!!
 

I will introduce myself later... first tell me how are you feeling now? I know you are going through a very tough yet exciting period of your life :-)..I am also going through an equally excited and a good experience inside your womb.....

 

Let me introduce myself- I am your baby and really excited to be born :-) and see the world with my wonderful parents. I am sure by this time you are fully surprised “how come a baby who is 15mm in length and have not developed any limbs yet, can write letter to me”!!... let me tell you- that is what I am !!!!

I have few suggestions for you and papa....I hope you shall follow those! 

-Please drink at least 2 litres of water a day in Office. 
-Eat lots of fruits, green & leafy veggies every day. 
-I know you don’t like milk now a days, but plz take some for my sake!! I need milk for a stronger bones. 
-Take as much rest as u can, but at the same time make yourself active throughout the day. 
-I feel sleepy @11PM, but can’t sleep as you remain awake till 1:30AM...(as per the nature- a baby inside the womb can’t sleep until the mother goes to sleep) so please go to bed early in the night and make Papa also sleep early as I need a good oil Massage :-) 
-I love my papa a lot so don't irritate him frequently... 
-Take the medicines early plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. 
-Let Papa knows tht I need gifts, so ask him to bring surprise gifts for me and you (I know he is bad in that but he cannot make it an excuse every time, so force him to bring gifts for us!!).
-And at last – Listen to papa as he understands us better than we do!
 
Wait and I will send more letters full of Demands and wishes frequently!!!
I feel proud to be your Baby ...Convey my love to my greatest Papa :-))..
 
your's
Sweet heart baby!


What say... isn't this cute? :-)

PS: By the time I came around posting this one, Shaurya has already started play school. It's been 2 days since he has been going but as of now, aunty has been with him at the preschool the entire duration. He is not playing with others that much and stays mostly with her only. Looks like, it's gonna be a difficult process. :-(

Chain Reaction

“A chain reaction…. is a sequence of reactions where a reactive product or by-product causes additional reactions to take place aka. A single event leading to a chain to events.”  

This was the first term which came into my mind last month when I went out to get my passport renewed. I had applied for my passport while still in college and its 10 year validity is about to expire this Dec. I received an alert 180 days prior to the expiry date and promptly applied for renewal on the passport office website. Not knowing how much time it would take between applying and getting a new passport, I booked an appointment soon. I had a few changes in my passport like my address which would be different since initially I had given my hostel address; I also needed to add M’s name so that we could get a passport made for our son Shaurya as well. The official website of the passport department was not very helpful in what all documents I would need to bring. It just mentioned my old passport and address proof as required documents. :-) For address proof, there were n number of options. With govt. officials, you never know what they might approve/reject, so I decided to take as many as I could. Since I was to add my spouse’s name, I took along the marriage certificate as well.

The D day arrived, I & M took a half day from office and started together. We had heard that it takes a long time there hence we took Shaurya along as well. Would be a different kind of outing for him.. ;-) Dot on time, we reached the passport office also called the passport seva kendra (a misnomer considering the attitude of ppl there is not to provide any seva at all). The place was super crowded, with no one keeping a tab of who is coming in or going out. The first level is where they take your documents and assign you a token. This was grossly mismanaged. (I suspect maybe coz of passport agents trying to get their ppl in.) By the time we got our token number, it was more than 1 hour past our scheduled appointment time. Anyways after getting my token number, we went to the next level. The next level turned out to be pretty fast with my token coming up soon and I was assigned an officer who would be reviewing my application, taking my signatures, capturing biometrics, etc. And this is the place where I started a whole new chain of events!! 

When I was happily posing for pictures and reviewing my application form with her, the officer there asked do I want to get my name changed. I was a little surprised since till that time I had not given it any serious thought. She said you have a marriage certificate and this should be enough to have your name changed. It sent me thinking…. I had to make it quick since I did not have much time to contemplate sitting in front of her and could not even go to M for guidance. I thought it would be easier to have the same surname as my son and husband in the passport. It might protect against any unforeseen issues that might come coz of last name mismatch..etc..etc. So I said why not? :-) And just like that I decided to get my new surname on the passport. The lady changed my name in the online application form, I made few more signatures and voila!! To the next level that is! I never knew name change could be such a simple process so I came back and happily told M about this. He was like what happened.. all of a sudden you decided to change your name. We would have to make changes in other places as well at least your office and bank account so that all these are in sync. :-( This was not the reaction I was expecting; I thought he would be super happy that I decided to take my post-wedding surname..but he had to go into the practicalities and leave out the subtleties. Anyways later he also agreed that it would be good to have the same last name and to keep things in sync but we should think these through and not make such decisions on the spur of the moment

Next level turned out to be the real level.:-) You see the first 2 levels have been handed over to a third party (a big IT company) and the third level is where government officials actually sit and check everything. The lady whose counter I was assigned to asked for my passport, I promptly handed over this to her. She then asked for original marriage certificate, gave that too. Next was address proof, I gave my original account statement/property bill. She asked for an address proof where I had my new last name. :-( This was where things came crashing down. I told her that this is the first official document for which I am changing my last name so I didn’t have any proofs. Since I have the marriage certificate, it should ideally work. She asked me to use the marriage certificate and get my name changed in bank account and come back with the new statement. I told her that ifwe are using marriage certificate as the base only why can’t she couple it with address proof in current name. But alas.. no logic works in govt offices. :-( 

So here I am currently waiting for a name change on my bank account. Meanwhile passport renewal is in ‘On-hold’ status. Will have to go to the passport seva kendra again. However I am assured I can skip the first 2 levels this time. Let’s see!! When I went for change in bank account, I was advised to get the updates made in office as well as loan account as my salary credit or ECS debit might be impacted owing to name mismatch. (They did later clarify that it should not matter since this is based on account number and not the name per se). Anyways after coming back we took a stock of what all places I might need a name change at the minimum… turns out I need to change it in bank account, PAN card & office. Thankfully most of these have online application facility and shouldn’t take much time. But there are other places where I should make name change to keep it all in sync. Hopefully I won’t be needed to make changes anywhere else since there are pretty cumbersome affair with many other government offices and these usually have more repercussions!! Will have to wait to see the effects of the chain of events I sparked off on a whim!

The Palace of Illusions - Book Review

While I was reading ‘Mrityunjay’, I learnt about another book based on Mahabharata ‘The Palace of Illusions’ authored by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. The book revolves around Draupadi aka Panchali.. the wife of the Pandavas and has an interesting take on how she viewed Mahabharata – it has been written as if narrated in first person by Draupadi herself. 

With Draupadi being one of the most powerful women in Mahabharata, there has always been a curiosity to know more about her. She is one the most controversial and enigmatic characters in Mahabharata, whose hunger for revenge, many believe, led to an unnecessary war. Knowing the little that I know about Mahabharata, I thought of her as someone who got stuck in the cross fire of hate between the Kauravas & Pandavas. Going through what she did in the Hastinapur court, she wasn’t too wrong seeking revenge either. Maybe she could have been a little more forgiving and not became one of the reasons for initiating the Great War. 

The novel has been aptly titled “The Palace of Illusions” based on the illustrious palace that the Pandavas built for her. And after reading the book, I realized even more that the name was suited since this was the only place which she truly loved and felt at home in. The book has a very contemporary style of writing. While reading the first few pages I actually got a little disappointed since the writing didn’t seem to have the gravity that an epic story like Mahabharata requires. The writing seemed a little trivial as well. However as I went further, I realized that the writer wanted us to learn about Draupadi’s longings of a normal childhood & trivial childlike thoughts and then show how her circumstances gradually changed her thinking and made her the women she became. The effect of all the incidents which caused her to behave the way she did is clearly explained. 

 There were many things that I hadn’t given much thought of earlier or wasn’t aware of before reading this book. Like the story of her birth.. that she and her brother were born out of a hunger for revenge and to satiate their father’s ego. No wonder Draupadi had that same thing within her and had an unforgiving & revengeful nature. Morning shows the day!! Also the fact that Shikhandi was her sibling or her childhood friendship with Krishna (and thus their great bond) was something I didn’t know. The book also lets us know that when Draupadi was still a young unmarried women Rishi Vyasa had predicted her whole life and also warned her about few events which would be life changing for her. He had also advised on which of her actions she needs to control in order to avoid taking the pre-destined path. However even after knowing the result of her actions in these events, she is unable to do anything about it and her life takes the course that Vyasa predicted. Maybe the writer wanted to emphasize the point that Draupadi did what she was supposed to do and what was destined for her. It didn’t matter how she behaved, the war and the sufferings that are to be would take place. The book also has the typical ‘Saas-Bahu’ angle. :-) It was happening with the great queens of Mahabharata as well so may be a Saas and a Bahu are destined to have some or other clash ;-)

Being the romantic that I am, I loved the part about the unspoken love between Draupadi and Karna. Draupadi was attracted to Karna even during her Swayamvar and might have chosen him if not for Krishna's words. In ‘Mrityunjay’ there was a reference to their mutual attraction; in this book it has been explored further with many incidents where the actions of Draupadi and Karna are explained even though their thoughts at those incidents are different from the actions they take. Each regrets many of the words used for the other. The author does try to bring a closure of sorts by writing a happy ending for them. Do read the book to find out more :-) I used to think that the Draupadi-Karna love story was a figment of both Shivaji Savant and Chitra’s active imagination but learnt after some googling that there are subtle references to it in the original version of Mahabharata as well!!!! Interesting. 

The novel is a good read and the author has brought out the pains and sufferings of Draupadi really well. Her revengeful attitude as well as ego has not been polished over either. The story has been well written giving us a different insight into the life of Draupadi… she was not the cause of the epic battle; her life was impacted by the forces leading up to the war!  I would recommend it for sure.

Rating: I would give it 4 out of 5.

The Biker Boy

No this post is not about the biking controversy that rocked the world last week. However just to throw in my two cents—I was hugely disappointed when I learnt about the truth. I was a fan of Lance Armstrong. His life was such an inspiration.. even I feel like suing him for the cheat that he turned out to be. Sue him for the money and emotions I invested in his two books :-(. Anyways coming back to this post.. 

Last month we made a short trip to our hometown, stayed with our in-laws for a couple of days. Since then, there has been a new attraction to bikes that Shaurya has developed. It started with the small tricycle that Archie (Shaurya’s sister) had as a kid. This is the same bike that Sanskar (her elder brother) used earlier.. bought by none other than M. :-) When Archie learnt that we were coming home, she took it out and had it dusted and ready for Shaurya. Now Shaurya is her darling.. and vice versa.. so the moment my son set his eyes on this cute little tricycle that his didi got for him, he developed an instant connect. In very little time, he even learnt how to get on and off it. (Though it’s quite funny watching him get on that cycle.. :-) )Most of the time that we were at our native, he was either on the cycle or running round and round on the terrace. From my in-law’s place, I went to my parents place for a day. Luckily for him, he got hold of an old tricycle (in a very derelict condition) that my brother had. So here also, he spent a couple of hours on it. 

With the amount of time that he spent honing his cycling skills, it’s no surprise that his love continues back here in Pune too. Shaurya doesn’t have a tricycle yet and since he won’t be able to pedal for quite some time now, we were not sure if this was the right time to buy one for him. But now, whenever we come down from our apartment, he runs towards the parking area. There are a lot of bikes as well as kids bicycles parked in here. If it’s a bike, he would stand near it and call us to help him sit on top of it. He would then just try to hold the handle or touch the oil tank… If it’s a cycle, he would try to push it backward and forward and basically move it. However since the cycles would be locked, they wouldn’t budge much and we would put him on the seat so that he can play with the handle. It gets very difficult to pull him away from these bikes. Just so as in perfect timing, there’s a 6-7 year old girl in a new family which has come in the apartment in front of ours. She also owns a cycle. She seats him in the carrier and rides the cycle herself. :-) Shaurya just loves doing these rounds in the evening. 

Seeing his love for bikes growing day by day, we thought of getting a tricycle for him. We kind of delayed this for a couple of weeks, just to see if this love persists or would fade away if he finds something new. Also we were still unsure if it was too early to get him a cycle. Anyways this weekend, we went ahead and bought him a tricycle. In the shop, when Shaurya saw the cycles, he just went and sat on one. Wasn’t even ready to come out of it… the entire duration that we spent looking at different options and all.. he just sat on one. The one he choose was a cute blue tricycle with big bright yellow and silver tires. We loved that one too and bought it. Even after that, he didn’t want to come down from the cycle. We had to keep the cycle in the backseat of our car and my son sat on it and this is how we reached home.. :-D Now that he can’t pedal yet, Shaurya is trying to push the cycle with his legs. Currently he has learned to propel it in backward direction.. :-D.. let’s see what else my biker boy does!!

Shaurya turns one!

With all the stuff happening around, I realize that I forgot to document a very important milestone that we achieved. On Oct 11, Shaurya turned 1 and we also celebrated 1 year of parenthood :-) My baby is growing up so fast… his age no longer being counted in months alone. I had been planning a lot for this milestone and was super excited.. About a month earlier, I along with my sister had already started preparing the guest list, thinking about return gifts, menu for the dinner, theme for the decoration, cake, et all. In general I was making a lot of fuss and driving M mad. :-D With both of us working and not getting too much time during normal weekdays, we used to tell M that we do not have a month; just 8 days in hand. But ignoring all my planning and preaching, M joined the bandwagon only 10 calendar days before the D day!! 

The first thing we finalized is the guest list. We live in a close-knit residential society where most of the families know each other. With many society functions taking place, everyone interacts with everyone else. Also with M being the society treasurer and member of the society council, we interact often with other society members. After Shaurya was born, we had a big function back home in Orissa. This was our chance for a celebration with our friends who are in Pune. We didn’t want to miss out on any of our close office friends too, so the list turned out to be a pretty long one! :-) While making the guest list, we also listed down who all has kids along with their approx. age to help us plan for the return gift. And then we grouped the kids based on their age. For example, for kids below 1 year, we got rattles and toys. For older kids, we wanted to give something that would (hopefully) instill a good habit in them.. so we got them piggy banks. There were also whistles, chocolates, balloons and pencil box set which was put inside the piggy bank. We bought everything about a week earlier and gift wrapped it over the weekend. I had made an invitation card with a format I got online. After making changes to it, we got it printed. The weekend before his birthday, we went to the houses of our guests and personally invited them along with the card. It was also e-mailed to our friends and colleagues. 

For the party venue, we had zeroed in on our society club. It has a garden and children’s play area in front and has a big hall plus separate spaces available where caterers can cook as well as a place to lay the buffet. We also started looking for caterers who can take care of the food. While searching for one, we got a party planner who stays nearby. She had started her business just 9-10 months back. She is a young mother who about a year back was looking for a caterer for her son’s birthday. On not finding a good choice, she organized the event herself. Did some for her friends too and thus started her own business “Make my Party”. Both M and I liked the plan that she had in mind and we finalized her. We took a themed decoration package also from her. The decoration was really nice.. with lot of big cardboard cut outs of cars, trains, ships, etc. We knew Shaurya isn’t big enough to enjoy it to the fullest. But he was also excited when he saw it all. And the other kids loved it too. For entertainment, M also got info of a magician and booked him for a magic show for the kids. 

But the million dollar question was what would Shaurya wear!! We wanted Shaurya to wear something comfortable. He would find himself among so many new people and that too past his normal sleeping time, we did not want to compound it by making him wear any traditional jari-tissue waala uncomfortable wear. Though many people including my sister said we should get something special.. like a kurta pyjama, dhoti types, M was in favour of comfortable and more practical Jeans and T-shirt. And kids look smart in it too! So we finalized on it. 

For Shaurya to be fresh for the party, we needed him to be well fed and having a rested sleep. I was just hoping that he sleeps in the evening and luckily, he slept at 5.30 pm. Had a good 1 hour nap and woke up all fresh. After having his dinner, he was all set for the party. If he is not sleepy or hungry, he is in full-on masti mood which is good for him as well as us and the guests!! :-)

Since it was a weekday and we had lot of small kids in our guest list, we had planned to start the party at 7pm. However by the time everyone started trickling in, it was already 8. First we had the magic show. The magician was really good.. very entertaining fella who interacted a lot with the guests and kept them engaged. The 45 min show was over in a jiffy. We had the cake cutting soon after. Shaurya was enjoying all the attention that he was getting. When the cake got cut, the party popper was popped!(?) As soon as it burst there was confetti everywhere. Shuarya was more interested in watching it fall rather than cutting the cake. :-D. Once the cake was cut, there was this huge sea of people who came with all sort of gifts. (This is something that I regret to this day.. we should have asked our guests to come without gift or at least given some other option to them… maybe requested them to contribute to a charity.. or get pencil, pen, notebooks, etc that can be donated. We have a whole lot of toys and other stuff in our home now.. Shaurya is not going to use most of it..! ) Anyways, coming back to the post, once the cake cutting was done, our guests proceeded to the buffet area. The starters were served during the magic show itself. And the main course was arranged as a buffet. The food was awesome. And I am not saying it just cause we were the hosts. Many of our guests came over to us to specially compliment on the food. Even to this day, many ppl in our society call and ask for the caterers number. I and M were mainly busy with the guest, greeting them, making sure no one feels alone or unattended, making sure everyone is enjoying, seeing off guests, etc. By the time the last guests left, it was midnight. 

Overall it was a successful party. Majority of the guests that we had invited turned up and most seemed to enjoy themselves! But for me, the highlight of the day was Shaurya. I was so proud of him. He was a good kid who did not cry or get cranky a lot. He cried once during the magic show when everyone was inside the hall and it got a little crowded. He was also running away if someone was trying to hold him. (as such also Shaurya doesn’t like being held by strangers.. even we carry him very less.. he likes roaming on his own 2 feet!! :-) ) But all and all, he was a very good kid, who was happily awake till 12 without crying. Ate everything that we were feeding him without any complaints. Played with my sister and her friends. I was indeed a very proud, happy and relieved mother!

 

 The b'de Invite

 Shaurya looking at the confetti as we cut the cake!! 

Delegating Parenting

Recently I have come across a lot of cases wherein young working couples leave their small / infant kids with their parents/in-laws while they work in a different city / country / continent. Earlier when I used to hear such cases, it was mostly the case with someone I didn't know closely. Learning about such cases from my friends/acquaintances who were telling this about someone else. At that time, I used to feel sorry for the innocent kid as well as the parents and thought maybe they have some financial constraints forcing them to leave separately from the kid. No one wants to leave his/her kid with others.. they must have done so with a heavy heart and had some really compelling reasons for the same. So as you see my empathy was with the parents. 

Now I see some people that I know who are doing the same. Of course most of my peers are working professionals like me and being in the same age group, many of them have small kids too. So it increases the probability that this time around I might actually know such people. However now that we are in the same boat, I am unable to see any justifiable reason for staying away from your kid. In most of the cases that I see, the couple is trying to safe up money for the child’s future. So here is the child in India while both of them have gone onshore leaving as small as a 1 year old behind. :-( I find financial constraint the most lousy reason. You can still save a reasonable amount if just the father or the mother goes onsite to a different country. One of the parent can stay with the kid and work from here. Put the baby in crèche or get a full time help or get your parents / in-laws with whom you were anyways planning to leave the kid. I am sure there is some better alternative than leaving such a small kid behind. What would that kid be feeling!! When it’s time for me to come back from office, I find Shaurya eagerly waiting for me; I avoid being late by even 15 min as it will increase his waiting. When he is sick, he doesn't even want to get down from my lap. He just lies on my lap while I rock him to sleep. I put him on bed only when he is asleep.(I am not sure if I do that reassure him or me but this is what happens). 

A child needs a parent far more than just for taking care of his/her normal day to day chores. I strongly believe that the emotional support that a child gets from his/her parents cannot be provided by anyone else howsoever close. So when I see parents especially mothers leaving their kids for onsite opportunity / career / promotion, etc, I find it difficult to fathom. Most of the time, I have not seen any major financial constraints with such people. What I see is very very ‘Selfish’ parents. They would like to enjoy their work and time abroad and so here’s the kid making the sacrifice. People who are ambitious or have such financial burden or want to enjoy their time should not have planned their kids. They should wait for the time when their condition is stable and/or they are ready to be parents rather than delegating their responsibility to someone else. Even accidental pregnancy gives u time to plan for the future! This is not a judgement that I am trying to pass, it is a statement of fact. The last thing you want to be as a parent is ‘Selfish’. 

Being a working mother, it has been difficult for me leaving my son at home. Even though I have my sister at home and a help (who has been working at my parent’s place since some 15 odd years and treats us like family), I still worry a lot on whether it’s going to have an adverse effect on Shaurya. Even on a normal day, I hate the part when I have to say bye to him when I start for office. It’s been more than 5 months now since I have joined office but I am still not used to it. Leaving him is still as difficult for me as it was the first day. Hopefully he won’t be a silent kid or a kid who is too mature or understanding for his age or God forbid an angry or violent kid.. at least not because he missed his mom or because I am not with him all the time. Both M and I take utmost care and are always vigilant in this respect. We are cautious not to show our silent guilt or any such negative emotion either. We do not want to pamper him too much or too less. Be too accommodating to adjust for our lost time together or be too strict just to be super cautious. Being a parent is a huge & difficult responsibility and something that no one wants to fail at. Keeping our worries at bay, we like many others just try to give it our best shot and hope that things turn out fine! Delegating such an important task can have its own repercussions

The 'Idiot' Box

A few days ago I saw an ad on TV which really rattled me and was disturbing to say the least. I was watching “Colors” channel and during the break, there was an ad for a new “Crime-related” show that will be telecasted from Dec. In the ad, a peek into one of the stories was being given.. it goes something like this.. there's a mentally unstable husband who kills his wife first and then keeps her dead body in the refrigerator... for 5 years!! Its gory just to listen to it and even write about it… u can very well imagine how gory it would be actually seeing this on television. I am fine with the channel showing the serial  (if it’s showed late in the night after prime time hours).. Now a days all these kind of suspense / crime / ghost /spirits related serials are back in fashion. There's at least one showing in each channel. But at least while creating advertisements for these kind of shows, people should think a little.

The ads are shown at any time of the day and an unsuspecting kid may happen to watch it. Young kids are impressionable (for that matter even adults are). We cannot even begin to imagine what kind of impact it can have on them. Being a mother to a young kid, I was really appalled on seeing the ad. (I have to admit here that I might not have reacted in such a strong way if I wasn't a mother myself but who knows.. maybe my reaction would have been similar). My son is small now and doesn't understand all these. He doesn't even watch TV unless there’s a song playing. He absolutely loves music. His current favourite being ‘

Go Go Go Govinda’ from ‘OMG’. He even wakes up from sleep if he hears this song. :D . But as Shaurya grows up and starts watching TV.. one day he maybe watching his favorite music show or cartoon show and there’s a break in between and he gets exposed to an ad like above.. :-(

In the ad, they could have just said all the gory details in voice overs instead of showing the dead body inside the fridge. I know the purpose of the ad was to have as much impact as it can and entice ppl to watch the show. And of course they have succeeded in it.. at least they have my attention. I know the ad / show makers are just looking for themselves and doing their job.. but here's when the TV censorship board comes into picture. Most of the time, they are busy censoring stupid stuff like not allowing a film to be broadcast because of adult content and this and that. Arre.. a parent knows when a particular film/show will be aired and if it is suitable for kids or not, he/she will ensure that the kids do not watch that film if its unsuitable. Instead of fussing about the obvious things, the board should focus on subtle things like these kind of ads which are difficult for a parent to control and have a greater impact. People might say this is unnecessary censorship & curtailing the freedom of artistic/creative expression but if you are creative, I am sure there is a better way to create ads/programs and still have the desired maximum impact!

Television content now has changed so much. It reflects on our choices and the kind of people we have become.  The Idiot box as its often called is working to match its name. :-( There’s N number of saas-bahu soap operas on TV. These kind of programs have an impact on our subconscious. We see scheming mother in law / daughter in law / sister in law etc.. this impacts the way we also think of our relationships. A small tiff which should ideally go unnoticed might make us think too much and blow it all out of proportion, changing the way we interact with our relatives. I never used to think about it.. but M made me realize it. He doesn’t like it if I watch a serial like this. He just brainwashes me against that programme.. J (Though I have never been that much into serials, I was a regular viewer of some shows in the past. The only serial I watch now is ‘ballika bahu’..I know it’s also a flawed one.. I used to watch it earlier then stopped it midway. However I have started watching it again ever since the character of ‘Shivraj Shekar’ has entered. Such a handsome fella!! :D… M will not be able to make me stop it.. at least for now ;-)) Majority of TV time in our household is taken up by Fox Traveller, NDTV Goodtimes, Times Now, SAB TV or some news/movie/music channel. And I am totally happy with it. We want our son to be exposed to such choices.. maybe with the addition of Discovery, Nat Geo and a few select cartoon channels. This is what we would like.. as they say 'parent' proposes, 'kids' disposes... :-D

Ganesh Puja Celebration with the kiddo!!

First things First.. wish you a very happy Ganesh Chaturthi!! J. Since I was a kid, I have always remembered bringing the Ganesha idol home for the 10 day celebration that goes on during this time. It used to be really fun filled days when we used to go to our ancestral home in the nearby village. There used to be daily morning and evening Aarti, evening kirtans, playing in our farmhouse, playing in the quaint little railway station in front of our home, catching dragonflys and the likes.. J After my marriage, I and M decided to continue this tradition too. With God’s grace, things have always fallen in place and we have been able to welcome Ganapati in our home each year. This year, it has been an even more special Ganapati Puja. This is the first one after Shaurya’s birth.. Puja celebrations with my own littlebal ganapati.. :-D

I was really looking forward to this since last month. I wanted to see how Shaurya will react when he sees the idol, will he allow us to do the decorations, will the decorations and lightings remain intact till end of the puja, how will he take to the morning and evening Aartis, etc. It has turned out pretty well till now. On Tuesday night, when we were doing the decorations, he was running here and there, happily getting himself wrapped in the decoration items and just enjoying all the fuss. J We had to keep the decorations very simple this year.. everything was pushed on to the wall and we have tried to keep as many things off limit for him as we could. And seeing all our excitement, Shaurya was also happy and excited when he saw the Idol. For the first 2 days he used to try to get the lights out or remove some of the things, but now he has got used to the idea. He enjoys the daily Aartis too.. M while doing the aarti holds the aarti thali with Shaurya and both of them together do a nice 360 degree turn.. praying the Lord in all directions.. :-D. Shaurya loves this.. as soon as I light the diya on the thali, he just stands in front and eagerly waits for M to do that little 360 degree turn with him.

The Little Devil 

On the day of Ganesh Chaturthi, I had made a rangoli just outside our front door. Since it was auspicious to start the Puja in between 6-9 am in the morning, we did the Puja as soon as we had bathed and were ready. By the time Puja was over and we were done with our breakfast, it was late. So the Rangoli was made only around noon. After making it, I sat in the drawing room and was chatting with M and my sister Chinki. We have this huge Sofa in our drawing room and we were lounging on it. Shaurya as usual was running all over the house looking for new things to play with. After some time, he went near the front door and stood there. I just peeped to check on what he was doing. I could see him bowing his head & looking at the Rangoli. He was standing just inside the door and was looking down at the Rangoli. We thought that he is finding all those rangoli colors attractive and new and thus was happily looking at it.. a little in awe maybe. How wrong could we have been? When he was standing there for about 3-4 minutes and continuously looking at theRangoli, I got a little worried. He doesn’t sit still in place for more than 30 seconds.. 3-4 minutes is too much. He can’t be that much in Awe of the colors.. something wasn’t right. When I went to him, what do I see? He had this belan (rolling pin) in one hand (don’t know when he went to the kitchen and pulled it from the countertop), was holding on to the door frame with his other hand and was happily scribbling at the rangoli with the belan. All my efforts of the last 20 minutes went kaput.. the rangoli didn’t even survive 30 minutes. L And he wasn’t done just yet. I got this rangoli frame from my neighbor and had made ganesha with it on a plate. I had kept it in front of the Ganesha Idol. In the evening, Shaurya just went near the Idol. Gave this plate a slight shake.. just a light tap and then left, never to touch it again. However this small tap was just enough to mix all the colors together. L At least this rangoli survived till evening. J

My Desi Boy

As part of our society Ganesh Puja celebrations, there were many different events planned to keep the society members involved and make it fun for all. One such event was the fancy dress competition for children below 2 years of age. Shaurya being 11 months was eligible for the same. It was a working day for me.. since I am normally back by 4pm, I planned to buy an outfit for Shaurya and get him ready for this event which was scheduled for 7pm. It turned out to be a busy day @ office, my sister called me at 6 and reminded about the event. By the time I reached home it was already 6.30pm, I went to a few shops near our home but did not get any fancy dress outfit. I started discussing with M and my sister on what to do now. I realized that Shaurya has a white Dhoti Kurta that he wore for a Puja ceremony. We got him to wear this white dhoti kurta. My sister took out one of my red dupattas and tied it around Sharuya’s waist. M suggested we make a moustache on Shaurya’s face. Out came my never-before-used Kajal :-D and I made a moustache.  A big red tikka using my lipstick and Shaurya was ready for the event. To complete his desi boy look, we gave him a white stick - improvised out of a curtain holder. Shaurya was looking very very cute. When we took him downstairs for the event, everyone was super excited on seeing Shaurya. Everyone was Oohing and Aaahing..  :D. All the other kids were dressed beautifully too. There were 2 little krishnas; both looking great. And our front door neighbor had made her daughter Radha.. she was looking so pretty!! It was nice seeing such small kids dressed up for the event. All of the kids were given a gift by M (our society treasurer and working committee member :D). You can call me a biased mother but I have to admit I found Shaurya the cutest of them all and ready as a perfect fancy dress participant J.

Trip to the Movie Theatre

Since Shaurya’s birth we have not gone to watch movie in a theatre. We have had ample opportunities to go to theatre. I have a full time maid at home and my sister also stays with us, so we could leave Shaurya with them and go for a movie together. However both M and I never felt it worth so much that we need to leave Shaurya behind. We did not want to take him to the theatre since there would be loud sounds in the movie and Shaurya is too small for all the noise. With Shaurya turning 1 next month, we decided to give it a try and see how he takes to it. Luckily for us, Barfi had just released. It’s a soft light movie so we were sure there would be no loud action sequences or sound in it. We booked the 11.30 am show so that Shaurya will be ready by his normal time and play a little. He usually sleeps by 12 pm so maybe 30-45 min into the movie, he can doze off on my lap. We reached the theatre by 11.10, Shaurya as usual was excited on seeing a new place. Everything was okay till we entered the hall. Shaurya was looking at the big screen and at everyone around. Then the lights were turned off J This may be triggered sleep hormones inside him, he started getting a little cranky. I gave him a biscuit to eat, let him sip little water and rocked him a little. The movie had soft melodious background score. When the first song started, I gently eased Shaurya into a sleeping position with his head in the nook of my arm. In 30 seconds flat, he was asleep listening to the soft tones. He never ever sleeps so easily. Maybe I should buy a songs DVD of Barfi :-D He woke up only towards the end of the movie. It was a great experience and not as dreadful as were thinking. We had gone mentally prepared to leave the movie in between and come back home if our son is not comfortable. Thankfully everything turned out to be good. My friend Amu calls it beginner’s luck.. :D hope it turns out to be more than that. Any which way, we were thankful for this dose of luck. J

Ganapati Idol @ our home

Doing the Aarti along with his Papa. 

Seen here happily and quietly ruining the Rangoli that I made.

In his Desi Boy avataar. :-)

Mommy back 2 work

Finally I have joined back office. After taking 8 months of leave through various extensions, I had to decide on when to join back. This definitely has to be the most difficult decisions I have had to make. There were so many things going on in my mind, so many discussions I have had with M, so many pros and cons we discussed..  

We were very clear that my joining back should never be at our son’s expense. We did not want him to be sad and unhappy. I have heard from many of my friends that it’s generally the guilt of the working mom that comes out and makes her think in that direction. Small kids do not miss or think so much. They adapt really well. So if you join back and are confident about how you manage, your kid will get that vibe and adapt well. If you are in doubts, this vibe will also reach your kid and he/ she will have trouble adapting to things. So we are trying to provide positive vibes even though we sometimes have our doubts.

Our main concern was how our son will take to my joining back office and being away from him for long durations. There have been times when I have left him for 3-4 hours but never more than that.  To handle this, we decided that initially I would go to office for 6 hrs or so and gradually increase it. 

Shaurya will be 8 months old in a week. He is a happy baby (most of the time.. :-) Touchwood!! ) who keeps crawling all around the house and playing with this or that, turning the house upside down. He finds something or the other to keep himself occupied.. so it’s not difficult entertaining him but u have to keep a constant watch on him. Otherwise he would go and start eating the doormat.. you see that is what he finds most attractive in our house!! Followed by potato sacks in the kitchen, head phone wires, laptops, pillows, strings coming out of blankets, etc. He has also started to test his walking skills, so he keeps standing, trying to balance, falling over on his head, bum, etc etc. So we have to be vigilant in that respect too.

I wasn’t that worried about what he will eat during my absence since I had already started him on semi-solid diet and during day time, he generally eats either porridge or mashed fruits or formula milk etc. The only big task here is feeding him. :-) It takes me nearly 30 min to an hour to feed him one meal. And he has to be continuously entertained during that whole time. :-D I have a full time maid at home who has been with Shaurya since he was 2 months old. She takes care of him well; only problem being she can’t spoon feed him. For the time being though this has been taken care of; my sister is with us and she takes care of spoon-feeding shaurya in my absence. 

He sleeps very less during the day time. And while preparing for joining back office, we slowly made sure that our maid is able to rock and put him to sleep and Shaurya is very comfortable with his Uma aunty :-). But then this is only during the day, come evening and I don’t know what happens to my baby. I have to be with him, otherwise he won’t sleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, and I don’t hold him within a few minutes he starts crying till I come and hold him. No matter who comes to him at that time, he won’t keep quiet for a long time. Kids are weird when it comes to sleep.. :-) I and Amu laugh a lot when we talk about our kids sleep patterns. If they are hungry, they cry.. its understandable since they can't feed themselves. But if you are sleepy, just sleep naa.. who is asking you to be awake and cry your heart out!!

It’s been 2 weeks now since I joined office. Haven’t been able to clock full working hours yet. But it’s been manageable till now. I think the main reason being presence of my sister and our maid. My sister is awesome with kids and our maid has been with us for more than 14 years now (She works at my parents’ house, I have requested her to come with us for a few months :-)) She is very caring and has great sense of responsibility.  Shaurya has been with them since long now and nearly as comfortable with them as me. So I guess for him, it’s like “Mom & Dad are out for a few hours but I have my mausi and uma aunty so no worries!!.. I will have fun in their absence!!” :-) Presence of my sister has helped reduce the guilt I have felt leaving Shaurya and joining back office.  It’s not that I am guilt free now but the guilt has reduced considerably. I still have pangs of guilt but I am in a position to try to happily look at the positives. 

This is how things are for now..  I know it is not permanent. Situation will change, things will evolve but my baby will also be growing up and I am hoping he will also keep adapting along with his parents.

First step into motherhood

It's been quite long since I posted something. I know it's nothing new :D Everyone especially me is quite aware how lazy I am. I wanted to make some excuse for the same but than I got to be truthful to myself. Anyways I was talking to my friend Amu and she pointed out that it’s high time I wrote something. So here I am, dragging myself out of my laziness and trying to scribble something. And following her lead, let me begin by recording my ‘Deliverance’ ;-D

First things first.. as the title of this post already suggests: I am a 'MOM' now.. :-D. Gave birth to a beautiful little angel on 11th Oct 2011. We have named him 'Shaurya'. During my entire pregnancy, I & M were looking forward to welcoming a cute little girl to begin our family.. but guess 'Shaurya' had already picked us up as his parents and we can't be grateful enough. (Btw now I know that he used to practice kickboxing when we used to address my ever growing belly as 'she' :)) Some things are just meant to be. While pregnant, I used to fret about having normal delivery. Nearly most of everyone that I knew had C-sec and I so wanted a normal one even though I have a very low pain threshold.. ironical..huh!! ;-)

I had no pain or even the slightest or smallest of contraction during my entire pregnancy. One day before my due date, we went for a ultrasound. It was found that I had low water content in my uterus. My Gynaec advised us to go ahead for induced labor instead of waiting for natural labor to begin. My uncle who is a pediatrician gave us a heads up to be ready for a C-sec coz of the low water content. We went home assimilating all the info and to prepare for the next day. We retired into our room early to get some rest but neither I nor M were able to sleep. On the D day, we were out of bed early in the morning. I made poha for breakfast (M's favorite) and we (as in me, M, my mil and fil) started for the hospital. After some quick form filling, I was admitted and injected pain inducing medicines through saline drip. The Dr said it sometimes takes 3-4 hrs for pain to kick in so we waited, waited and waited. Till evening there was no progress and no pain of course :) !! . The doctor than tried few more medicines. Again nothing. By 8 pm the baby started showing some very minor signs of distress. We could have waited longer but than since even with help, my labor was not progressing and to top it the water content was low, chances of a normal delivery were very less. We didn’t want to push for a normal delivery, resulting in maybe an emergency C-sec and/or distress for the baby. After consulting with our doctor, around 8.30 pm, we gave a go ahead for C-sec. And as if on cue, it started raining heavily... filmy indeed!!

With the decision finally made, everything started moving in fast forward mode. A welcome break from the sheer monotony of waiting. I was moved into the operating theatre. It was my first time in an OT and what a place it was. Pretty awe-inspiring - Squeaky clean with quite a lot of high end gadgets and monitors. I would have loved the place only if it was not me going under the knife. There was an OT table where I was to lie. It was very very thin and I wasn't sure how I supposed to fit in there in my normal form forget about 9 month pregnant form. Anyways somehow I tried to fit in. Once in, I was quickly attached to many of those cool monitors and the anesthetist and Gynaec started their work. I just felt slight tugging and pulling kind of sensations in my tummy and before I knew it my son was out. I was just shown the baby and then he was handed over to a pediatrician for check up. we had opted for stem cell banking so my Gynaec started working on it and then stitched me up. I was then wheeled into the recovery area. While all this was going on, I was craving to hold my baby and be with M.

Once the baby was checked and bathed, the nurse took him outside OT and handed him over to his father and grand parents. M was given hospital gown and he come to the recovery area to be with me. I will for ever remember that first look and all the love I saw on his face. It's priceless. It was past 12 now and he wished me 'Happy 34 months'. :-) (34 months of our wedding.. we got married on 12th Dec). After about an hour more there, I was wheeled into my room where I was welcomed by my beaming in-laws. After a 5 day stay, I was discharged from the hospital. I was so glad to be at home. A hospital no matter how luxurious is in the end still just a hospital!!

Shaurya is 6 months old or shall I say young now. Growing up pretty fast. It feels like it was just yesterday that he came into our lives. I have been in love with him from the moment I saw him. Motherhood has been quite a joy - not everything has been easy or as natural as it seems but it has been fun. I am also learning and growing as a mother along with my son. "A child gives birth to a mother" - this is a caption on display at OnP tulips (the hospital that I delivered in). True indeed!! :)

Checked my blog......

...... after a looooooooooooong time today. I know it’s been ages since I posted something here.. life’s been quite hectic and busy… I have been just so busy living my life that it doesn’t look like the posts here are ever gonna catch up with it.. especially with Me being the sooper lazy Me that I am… :-) But then who’s complaining… it’s not like I have ppl waiting with baited breaths for updates to my blog.. :-D

Anyways realized I should put atleast something up.. so this post is just to break the ‘No-Posts’ monotony……. Don’t have anything to write about or come to think of it.. I have too many things I want to write about but just don’t know where to start from. I guess I will need some more time to figure it out.. till then I will go back to just…. living… and loving… and pampering… and being pampered.. :-)

PS: Btw have slowly realized M does remember and keep all the small silly declarations that he makes.. I should stop laughing at him when he makes them.. :-) Can’t wait to see him in his new Avataar.