Mommy back 2 work

Finally I have joined back office. After taking 8 months of leave through various extensions, I had to decide on when to join back. This definitely has to be the most difficult decisions I have had to make. There were so many things going on in my mind, so many discussions I have had with M, so many pros and cons we discussed..  

We were very clear that my joining back should never be at our son’s expense. We did not want him to be sad and unhappy. I have heard from many of my friends that it’s generally the guilt of the working mom that comes out and makes her think in that direction. Small kids do not miss or think so much. They adapt really well. So if you join back and are confident about how you manage, your kid will get that vibe and adapt well. If you are in doubts, this vibe will also reach your kid and he/ she will have trouble adapting to things. So we are trying to provide positive vibes even though we sometimes have our doubts.

Our main concern was how our son will take to my joining back office and being away from him for long durations. There have been times when I have left him for 3-4 hours but never more than that.  To handle this, we decided that initially I would go to office for 6 hrs or so and gradually increase it. 

Shaurya will be 8 months old in a week. He is a happy baby (most of the time.. :-) Touchwood!! ) who keeps crawling all around the house and playing with this or that, turning the house upside down. He finds something or the other to keep himself occupied.. so it’s not difficult entertaining him but u have to keep a constant watch on him. Otherwise he would go and start eating the doormat.. you see that is what he finds most attractive in our house!! Followed by potato sacks in the kitchen, head phone wires, laptops, pillows, strings coming out of blankets, etc. He has also started to test his walking skills, so he keeps standing, trying to balance, falling over on his head, bum, etc etc. So we have to be vigilant in that respect too.

I wasn’t that worried about what he will eat during my absence since I had already started him on semi-solid diet and during day time, he generally eats either porridge or mashed fruits or formula milk etc. The only big task here is feeding him. :-) It takes me nearly 30 min to an hour to feed him one meal. And he has to be continuously entertained during that whole time. :-D I have a full time maid at home who has been with Shaurya since he was 2 months old. She takes care of him well; only problem being she can’t spoon feed him. For the time being though this has been taken care of; my sister is with us and she takes care of spoon-feeding shaurya in my absence. 

He sleeps very less during the day time. And while preparing for joining back office, we slowly made sure that our maid is able to rock and put him to sleep and Shaurya is very comfortable with his Uma aunty :-). But then this is only during the day, come evening and I don’t know what happens to my baby. I have to be with him, otherwise he won’t sleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, and I don’t hold him within a few minutes he starts crying till I come and hold him. No matter who comes to him at that time, he won’t keep quiet for a long time. Kids are weird when it comes to sleep.. :-) I and Amu laugh a lot when we talk about our kids sleep patterns. If they are hungry, they cry.. its understandable since they can't feed themselves. But if you are sleepy, just sleep naa.. who is asking you to be awake and cry your heart out!!

It’s been 2 weeks now since I joined office. Haven’t been able to clock full working hours yet. But it’s been manageable till now. I think the main reason being presence of my sister and our maid. My sister is awesome with kids and our maid has been with us for more than 14 years now (She works at my parents’ house, I have requested her to come with us for a few months :-)) She is very caring and has great sense of responsibility.  Shaurya has been with them since long now and nearly as comfortable with them as me. So I guess for him, it’s like “Mom & Dad are out for a few hours but I have my mausi and uma aunty so no worries!!.. I will have fun in their absence!!” :-) Presence of my sister has helped reduce the guilt I have felt leaving Shaurya and joining back office.  It’s not that I am guilt free now but the guilt has reduced considerably. I still have pangs of guilt but I am in a position to try to happily look at the positives. 

This is how things are for now..  I know it is not permanent. Situation will change, things will evolve but my baby will also be growing up and I am hoping he will also keep adapting along with his parents.