Kids & Percentages

Me: Howz your pain? Do you want to take the pain medicine?

Shaurya: Naah.. today, it has not been more than 18%

Me: 🙄

Last weekend, Shaurya fell while playing and has ligament damage on his left wrist. He is doing fine and recovering slowly. His response reminded me again of the funny ways in which he sometimes assigns totally random and seemingly accurate percentages to stuff. It's never 10% or 20% or 80%. It's 12.5% or 18%(like above) or 82%. 

Once I had tried to understand how he reaches these figures; he had a pretty logical reasoning. For example, he comes to 18 because it's more than 10 but less than 20. However it's tending more towards 20 - nearer to it and hence the number.

Kids I tell you; you learn something new everyday!! 😂

We will see

These are strange times that we are all in; with a focus on keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe from Corona. The lockdown has been a great opportunity; fun at the start, difficult in between but now we have all started accepting it as the new way of living. It's been even more challenging for parents of young kids - keeping them entertained while trying to keep them away from gadgets.

My 8 year old is having his regular school online since end of March. He is online from 9am to 2pm. Thankfully he has lot of breaks in between but it's still a lot of time in front of a laptop. After school hours are spent reading, playing with his board games, legos, etc. But with no more playtime with his friends, some more time is spent in front of screen - Netflix, Video calls with family back home in India and online game with his friends.

We try our best to reduce it and he tries his best to get more :-). So one day, he asked me if he could play one round of a game and then have video call with his mausis (my sisters) in the evening. I told him we will see later. He immediately started quoting a scene from 'Pursuit of Happiness'. He told that in the movie, when the kid asked his father if they will go and watch the football match, his father told 'We will see'. Then the kid told 'That means No'.  I told my son it's a movie, then he threw back my own statement that it's based on real life. He went ahead and gave another example from the book 'Chronciles of Narnia' - when parents say 'We will see', it means never. ;-p

I have to say he's not exactly wrong! But M told him when your parents say 'We will see', it means we will discuss it later and agree with conditions. M to the rescue as always :-D

Our own BBC

Let me begin by clarifying that this post has nothing to do with 'The BBC'. Since as long as I remember, we have used the term 'BBC' to describe a person who cannot keep in any information or news and just broadcasts everything to each and everyone.

At our home, we have our very own BBC aka my son, Shaurya. With Shaurya, both M and I have a rule of not keeping any secrets or information hidden from him. If we are planning something which impacts us as a family, we share it with him and involve him in our excitement. In view of this, we tend to discuss things freely in front of him. M and I are careful not to talk about private stuff in front of him. However there have been few fun and few not so fun instances where Shaurya has announced stuff to all and sundry about the happenings in our life! '. 

In my last post, I mentioned about how he could not contain his excitement over M's birthday surprise and just blurted it out at the last moment. :-) Last year, we bought a bigger apartment in Pune and had plans to move in there this year. The day we booked the apartment, we were super excited and so was the kiddo. And he went ahead and told this to few of his friends (and their parents) in our current apartment society on the same day itself. So much for sharing this with our neighbours gradually. 

A not so fun instance happened in our recent trip to our home-state for the December holidays. M was driving my papa's new car and it got a little scratch on it from a motorbike. As haurya was also travelling in it when this happened, we told him to let M break the news to nanaji and not him. He agreed to it. We reached home and got out of the car; papa was standing in front of the shop. As soon as we got out, Shaurya starts with 'Papa, now tell Nanaji what happened!. Tell now! Tell! Tell!'. Though I felt bad for M & papa (for scratch in the brand new car), I immediately went inside the house before I burst out laughing. :-D

You would think that by now we would have learnt our lesson but guess we are late learners. In our professional life, we are getting a very good opportunity for which we may need to move out of India. Since this is a major change for us, we have been discussing the pros and cons of this. We asked Shaurya as well how he would like to move to a new place and kind of getting him to look up to the possible change. We should not have been surprised when one of our neighbour (parents of Shaurya's friend) asked us if we are moving to so and so country.

I guess we need to start working on telling him about the concept of 'family surprises' and keeping it a surprise till the 'right time. Will begin to start working on it ASAP.

PS: I can't believe..actually, you know what.. come to think of it, I CAN believe the last post I wrote was in Aug-17 and nothing since then! I just have one reader and she kept on encouraging me to write something. But being me, it just kind of skipped from my radar. And honestly 2018 just flew by! This post is for you Amu... :-); I will plan for some late posts from 2018.

Surprise Planning & Shaurya

So it was M’s birthday on 9th and I was working along with Shaurya for a surprise midnight celebration – it’s not exactly a surprise anymore though as we do it every year... maybe I can skip it one year and then it will truly be a surprise when nothing happens at midnight!! ;-p

On the evening before, I & Shaurya went out and bought a cake and flowers. Shaurya had already made a greeting card.. he made the card, decorated it with my help and wrote the birthday message himself and his gift to M was “200 kisses”. When we reached home, I kept the cake inside the fridge and hid the flowers, cards & our gift in Shaurya’s room. I had been telling Shaurya that it’s to be a surprise and we will celebrate the birthday at night. Frankly he has been doing pretty good in keeping the secret and I was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t tell M about his card or the Gift that I had ordered.

Since he was holding it all in really well, I was not at all prepared for what happened when M reached home. No sooner had M crossed the door, Shaurya jumped up, ran to the kitchen and covered the fridge with his arms yelling.. “Don’t look here.. there’s nothing inside”. We were so surprised that it took us a minute to realize what he said and then both I & M burst out laughing!! :-D He went on to uncover yet another surprise by running to his room, blocking the entrance and saying – “Don’t come inside this room either” :-)

In the end, I am just thankful that he held on to it for so long.. we had been planning for the gift (photobook and coupons) since 2 weeks and it was great that it did not reach M's ears till the last day. Shaurya was super excited on the last day and getting the cake just did it for him - he could not contain it within him anymore. A memorable uncovering of the surprise to be sure!

Graduation Day!

Last week I attended the first “Graduation Day” function of my life.. that too for my 5 and half year old son  :-) (my first as I missed attending the graduation ceremony to get my engineering degree).  It’s funny how times have changed.. even finishing kindergarten is now termed as graduation. I and M were pleasantly surprised when we received the invite to attend the Graduation Day ceremony for our son who is finishing Sr.KG now.

The Graduation day event was very well planned. There were some cute solo performances from the kids – be it dance, songs, storytelling, music or speeches. At the end of it, the kids were made to wear Graduation gown, cap and were called out one by one to the dais. The class teacher gave each one a scroll and a sash. I especially loved the Sash – it had a picture of the kid and a name given to him/her rhyming with first letter of his/her name – Shaurya’s Sash read “Sincere Shaurya”. At the end of the event, the kids came together for a class photoshoot and gave a combined performance by singing a Graduation Song. Shaurya and his friends had lots of fun wearing the gowns and posing in it. The teachers ensured it was a memorable and special day for each.

It was a very touching ceremony and I am sure many parents got emotional. I was overwhelmed (and had to wipe my tears secretly least people think I have gone nuts watching the Kindergarten graduation ceremony of my son!! Dunno what I will do when he actually graduates ;-D).  But seriously.. more than the kids, this ceremony was for the parents.. to make them realize that their kids are growing.. and growing up fast.. with them entering a ‘little’ more serious phase of their life!

This is Shaurya’s last year with his pre-school Colours.  It’s a wonderful school and the teachers are absolutely brilliant. With love and care, the teachers have done a great job to nurture the natural curiosity that kids have – kids there know everything (and more) of what a kindergartner would know and still have varied interests and healthy curiosity. We just hope that the Primary school that we have chosen for Shaurya continues to help him grow and develop this way!

In the 'Graduation' attire :-)

Edited to Add: Shaurya thought this was Dracula costume and they were made to wear it for fun!  :-D

Kids and Gender equality

This post is a result of an incident involving my son that happened today evening.. We live in a small residential society where we are blessed in having majority of neighbours who are in similar boat as us - In their early to late thirties with one or two young kids/toddlers. This ensures that my 5 year old has lot of playmates. (Touchwood!) (Note - there are some cons as well but then what doesn't :-) ). Today evening he was playing with the daughter of my front door neighbour in their house; all well till it was just the 2 of them. Then one of her other girl friend joined in. After some time, my son came back home. Since its rare that he comes back on his own, I asked him what happened. It seems they told him you are a girl since he was playing with them (2 girls). This is not the first time it has happened and luckily this time he didn't come back crying (it has happened in the past when he was told to go play with boys!)

I get annoyed when I see kids not involving others of the opposite gender in their games. I am sure boys do the same and I am seeing my son learning to differentiate based on such experiences. As kids, boys and girls play in their own different ways and I have seen that by nature they make play groups based on their commonality. But they should be able to play as they want - In our society, I see 1 girl playing with 3 boys and she is not told to go play with the girls. But if it's 1 boy playing with 3 girls, he is told to go and play with the other boys - and I am not just talking about the kids telling each other here (kids are kids and their behavior is sometimes mean.. they fight, they cry and they forget & makeup), even we as parents support and unknowingly perpetuate this bias. Girls playing with cars doesn't raise eyebrows but boys playing with dolls does. A boy in a pink trouser is pointed at but not a girl in a blue dress. Equality should not be just about giving equal opportunity to girls, it should include boys too. I believe we need to move from gender equality to gender neutrality. Since the seed of bias is planted since childhood, it just grows slowly and steadily along with them. The repercussions of such bias by our earlier generation is already there for all of us to see.

In this era when we talk of equal pay and equal opportunity, we can't really wish away this inequality if we start to differentiate between boys and girls since childhood and tell them that they should things appropriate for their gender. Kids are like wet clay who get molded into adults based on what they learn from their surroundings; the little natural gender based difference that they have increases based on the gender based stereotype that they see around them. There are lots of boys more sensitive and caring than girls and lots of girls more successful and hard working than boys.. no one is better than the other,  Just different. We should just give them an open hand so that they can remain equal with their differences.  And we should avoid making boys the victim as we fight for equality of our girls! 

The Real 'Chipko' Movement

Few months back, M had told Shaurya a little bit about the 'Chipko Movement' - trying to instill a little social awareness and make him aware of the importance of Greenery in our life. ;-p So M told him about Suderlal Bahuguna being one of the pioneers of it and how he went about saving trees from being cut!

Today while I was playing with Shaurya, we were chatting and revising random stuff. He has been absent from school since 3 weeks now (We are in my hometown in Odisha on extended vacation and it will be few more weeks before he rejoins school) so I thought of doing a little revision of his A's & B's.

While talking, I asked about the Chipko Movement and this is how our conversation went;

Me: Who started the 'Chipko Movement'?

Shaurya : Sunder lal Bahuguna

Me: Right! And what did he do?

Shaurya : Bad uncles came and cut the trees. Good uncle then got glue and stickers and used it to stick the trees back. 

Me: Speechless!! 

Ofcourse, they had to stick them together if it was to be a real 'Chipko' movement! :-D

Happiness is..

.. turning in your bed in the middle of the night and as you turn, your kid opens his eyes, says 'I love you, Mumma' and then dozes off.

PS: Good to remember on a day when he is on your nerves ( like today ;-))

'Not having it all' versus 'Leaning In'

This Friday morning, as usual I was finishing up the morning chores and getting ready for office. When I was done, I had a few minutes to spare before going out to catch my office bus. I decided to start reading the newspaper (I read it in the bus. :-D) and my eyes caught the article from a recent interview of Indra Nooyi, the PepsiCo CEO. As I have always admired her, I was very much interested in the article. To add to the appeal, it was about her motherhood experiences. However I didn't really know what to make of the article; it kind of started me thinking. My first reaction was that of sadness - looks like the feeling of 'guilt' that working Moms have is universal and even an extraordinary amount of success doesn't wash it away completely. On further thoughts, I felt a kinship with her - So I am not the only one who has this 'guilt' bout on occasions. The article was on my mind the entire day (and even this weekend for that matter). I discussed this with M and even with my colleagues - few of them are on the same boat as me!

Since the Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg was in India recently and had addressed Indian women (mainly professionals) on her now famous philosophy aka book - 'Lean In', there was bound to be comparisons. In the Indian print media, both these differing thoughts created quite a buzz and whole lot of debates started. As a result, some really good articles came out focusing on motherhood and career. However in many of the comparative discussions, people out-rightly rejected what Indra Nooyi said.  I don’t really understand the thought process career women have when they say that Indra is not making sense at all. Am I the only one who thinks that maybe she isn’t talking all that nonsense? Let’s see what she has said.

Per Mrs Nooyi, “the biological clock and the career clock are in total conflict with one another”– She is so right! Your late 20’s/early 30’s is the time when you are rising up on the chain and breaking towards the managerial position in your workplace. It is also the time by when you need to ‘settle’ in your personal life.. and the settlement here includes kids as well. Many decide to have kids and this puts a delay in your moving up the ladder. Though in recent times, we see many exceptions to this. Some women focus more on their career, some more on their family and some try to balance it out! But it all does suggest that we are making choices and trying to balance it all out.  We cannot always “lean in” and many a times knowingly lean out. I agree with the Facebook COO that we sometimes lean out even before its needed and we need not kill our ambition just because we have a family to take care of. A fine balance between both the extremes is needed.

Women “cannot have it all" – Of course we cannot. No one can for that matter. We need to define what all needs to be included in this ‘all’ of ours.  A cost benefit analysis is always part of our decision making and planning process. You sometimes do not take a task in office voluntarily since it would mean more time away from your kid. As you leave for home early, your boss gives a critical and visible assignment to someone else.  There are N such scenarios. I can leave Shaurya and go to my office based on the plan that M will leave late for office and I will reach home early. With 2.5 hours of afternoon time in school and around 1 to 1.5 hours gone in nap, we thought this is doable. We miss out on a few things but that is our choice. Everyone makes similar plans and modifies his/her life around the kids with their best and in turn decide what ‘all’ is needed!

About the ”guilt” statement, I don’t think she is so wrong. I have had the same guilty feelings so many times. It is not like I am wallowing in guilt and self-pity but there have been many doubts. I worry, if my leaving him at home, will have a long term not-so-good impact on his attitude or personality. Since I come from a family where women have always been homemakers, this has been a difficult decision to make. But I have referred to many of friend’s and their mom’s experience and having a working mom doesn't seem to spoil a kid. I have my hopes set on the same and believe that Quality time matters more than Quantity. But then again the doubts resurface when I hear or read of a bad experience! And it’s not just one kind of guilt that women have – feeling guilty when you have to leave your child and go to office, there are also cases when women feel guilty for leaving their job for the kids!  I am sure men or shall I say fathers do not feel any such guilt since the role definition for them is clear, they are the providers (even in their mind). It’s we the nurturers who have all the doubts.. :-( ;-).

Since we cannot really have it all, we have to make choices and decide on the important ‘alls’ we want and then go for it. And the support of our spouse and family on this is a must have! We need to work together on all the decisions that are made. In the end, the important thing is to have peace with your decision.. I think it will ultimately remove all the guilt and associated feelings. As M said, Satisfaction will make you realize that you indeed ‘have it all’ !

T - Thank You

This 'Thank You' is especially for my mom and dad for the awesome parenting skills that they have. After becoming a mother, I have finally come to appreciate how difficult it is to be a good parent and what amazing parents you have been. 

Being a parent is a demanding 24x7 work. Starting from the initial days, when your kid is small and totally dependent on you. Right from the frequent all day-night feedings & nappy changes to the colic attacks and regular vaccinations, you have a very hectic schedule and very less rest. All the time, you have to weigh & make choices for your kid - whether to bottle feed or not, should you use pacifiers, when to start potty training, when to ween him away, how to set up a routine, et all. You try to get reliable information on everything, weigh the pros and cons & hope that the choice you made is the best one. Then there are people who are ready to advice all the time, which are many a times good and practical ones but in your insecurity about your parenting skills, you sometimes take as criticism. Only to later try and incorporate some of those into your ways!

With Shaurya into his "Terrible Two's" now, good parenting has become even more crucial. He is like a sponge who absorbs everything that is around him. I & M have to be really aware of what he is surrounded with. If sometimes we get angry and say something, Shaurya picks it up fast and tries to inculcate in his actions. Sometimes we use some words/lines and then see him using it the next time. Like I say 'Kya kar rahe ho... ' quite often... and now Shaurya has started saying 'Kya kar rahe ho papa'/'Kya kar rahe ho mummy' :-) We are live role models for him and his attitude is a reflection of what we do! A very Tough Job!! Though the good thing is, you just have to be good role models and your kid will grasp those too. So its easy that way. Teaching Shaurya his, 'Please' , 'Thank Yous' & 'Welcomes' have been easy. He learnt early on when to use what, he even says 'Thank You God' every morning and night!

Many a times, I lose my patience whether it is his constant chatter or when he throws some tantrum or when I put a lot of effort to prepare his food but he doesn't eat, gets hungry and then cranky coz of hunger (a vicious cycle..).  And I am ashamed that I have shouted at him in such occasions and a couple of times slapped him and cried too.. :-( :-( Parenthood is very very difficult and hence I am all the more grateful for the way my mom and dad have handled it. I do not remember ever getting a scolding from you though I am sure I might have done similar (or worse) things as a kid and even now as an adult. You constantly worry about me and how I am doing things and I realize now that being a parent means always being concerned and worried about your kids well being. I hope I can learn to handle things with Shaurya, the way you did with us - with lots of love, patience and good sense. To my wonderful mom and dad, 'Thank you' for all your love. Love you a lot! 

Q - Quiet Time

This is something which has become a rarity since we moved into parenthood. With a young kid in the house, you get used to all the noises he / she makes. And quite gradually you get so used to it, if some days you find your home quiet you feel something is missing. Like us :-) 

As a kid, I grew up in a house which was on the main commercial centre of the town, there were some or other sounds which you would hear the entire day. (luckily night time was quiet!). There was a paper mill and coal mines in our town, so there were lot of peaceful residential quarters for the employees working there as well. I was so used to my place that if I ever went to the quarters area, I used to wonder how people live there. It was so quiet, I found it eerie as if something is not quite right and something bad is about to happen. As I grew up and moved to hostel and other places, I started enjoying and liking the quieter neighborhood. 

When Shaurya was still a very young baby, I suddenly 'discovered' how noisy our houses are ( especially my parents and in-Laws place). I would be trying to make him sleep and some or other noise will wake him up. At our place, even people talk so loudly! Living in an apartment for quite some years now, I had forgotten how noisy houses can get. But as Shaurya is growing, we are also slowly adjusting to all the ho-halla. As parents, I & M have been getting used to our not so quiet evenings. The only time when Shaurya sits quietly and plays is when he is playing with his JCBs, Cars, & other automobiles; he drives all this on his bed and forms a long queue by putting them one after the other. One more thing which quietens him a bit is his cartoon show, Dinosaur Train or when we read him a story book, but even then he keeps on asking or telling something in between. 

With time, we have learnt to snatch some quiet time. In the evening, just before his dinner, we make him play with his cars and all. Gives us time to relax a little, before we get along with the task of making dinner. He also plays after his dinner but at that time we are busy finishing off our dinner and catching up on some news. After he sleeps off, our chit chat continues.. somedays we are asleep in the process of trying to make him sleep. :-) Also there are days when he is very tired or sleepy (in case he hasn't had his afternoon nap) and thus sleeps early. 

The gist is Quietness is something whose importance you realize only once you become a parent! :-D

H - Happy Parents = Happy Kids

Read this while I was expecting.. very easy to say but very difficult to follow. Especially during your pregnancy, when your hormones are a little off the regular mark, your body is changing a lot and you are preparing yourself for the unexpected. :-) I do agree to this wholeheartedly.. it makes sense, if you are happy, everything around you including the life within you would definitely be happy! And we tried to make everything as stress free as we could, it helps that both I and M like to enjoy the present. We make plans for the future, at the same time, we are ready to absorb changes to the plan (Any change whether good or bad is initially difficult... you need time to adapt and enjoy even the positive ones). 

Even with all this flexibility, there were still fights we had during our pregnancy.. :-( I don't think we have ever fought as much as we did during that time. There was one instance in particular that I remember vividly specially coz I am very ashamed of it. It was the time when mummyji (my MIL) was here in Pune. I had had a small argument with M in the morning and was not talking to him.. my anger increased as he did not try to pacify and make up with me.. it was lunchtime and I said that I won't have lunch.. M became more angry he thought I was trying to blackmail him (no idea how it was a blackmail).  Anyways we fought in front of mummyji.. and I started crying (ok dont think that I am a cry baby, it was just the hormones at that time. It would make me cry on small small things...) and I took out the brahmashtra - I said I wanna go to my parent's place and mummyji was so worried about us since she hadn't seen us fight like this. That was really the lowest point of our fights.

Anyways I digress.. We generally cant remain angry for long, we are back to our normal self pretty soon.. it helps that both I & M forget and hence forgive as well. :-D We tried to be a happy couple and I think we succeeded most of the times.  Shaurya is a happy kid (touch wood!) and he is fun loving & enjoys everything. He also has his off days where he is cranky and irritated but those are few and far in between. It's not as if everything is perfect, I and M still have our fights but we make up! :-) However we need to be careful now, since Shaurya gets it when we are angry at each other and he comes near us, make funny faces, say some stupid things and try to make us laugh.. works like a charm! :-D So now it's more the case of our happy kid making us happy!

 

D – Dinosaur Train

This is a cartoon show which my son has started watching recently and he totally loves it. Comes on the ZQ channel here. It’s about a family of dinosaurs - the Pteranodons (I had to google to get it right.. ;-D ) where the mother dinosaur, Mrs Pteranodon finds a different dinosaur species egg in her nest where 3 of her own eggs are also there. All 4 hatch at the same time. There are 3 Pteranodon kids – Don, Shiny and Tiny and of course the 4^th one who is a T-Rex, Buddy. Mrs P raises buddy as her kid. All 6 of them (including Mr P :-) ) are a family who travel the world (the prehistoric Jurassic and other time period) in the dinosaur train and learn about different species of dinosaurs.

All of us (including M) love the show. I especially like the opening theme song which tells us about the show (all that I have written above) in a really nice way. Shaurya loves this song and sings it a lot.. he can’t really pronounce everything though he tries hard but he does shout with the chorus of Dinosaur Train towards the end.  Here's the Lyrics:

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a mom

Her name was Mrs. Pteranodon

Sitting on her nest, she heard a scratching and said

 MRS. P: Oh, boy, my eggs are hatching!

 NARRATOR: One by one, the kids popped free

Baby pteranodons, one, two, three

MRS. P: I'll name you Tiny, Shiny and Don.

NARRATOR: But Tiny said

TINY: Wait! There's one more, mom!

NARRATOR: The last little baby had a different size

With teeth and a tail and big green eyes

He didn't look anything like the rest

BUDDY: What am I doing in a pteranodon nest?

NARRATOR: But dear old Mrs. Pteranodon said

MRS. P: Oh, this is your family and I'm your mom.

You may be different, but we're all creatures.

All dinosaurs have different features.

Come on, Buddy, we'll take a vacation.

I'll get us a ticket in Pteranodon Station.

We'll travel the world in sunshine and rain

And meet all different species on the... Dinosaur Train

The show is really interesting. When we initially started watching it, we thought maybe all the different species that they show is imaginary but we were surprised to learn that it wasn't so. A paleontologist, Dr. Scott D. Sampson, is associated with the show and provides information on the different Dinosaurs. Along with helping you know about all the different kind of dinosaurs and time periods, it gives positive messages to the kids in real good way. The 4 dinosaur siblings – Don, Tiny, Shiny and Buddy have a lot of fun together, they are eager to explore new places and meet other dinosaurs. They enjoy making new friends. The show also emphasizes on how they (we) may be from different species (religion, culture, physical appearance or lifestyle) but each of them (us) have unique skills that makes them (us) special. So in a way, it teaches kids how being different is fine and you can still be friends and respect & learn from each other. I also like the way Mr & Mrs P support their kids and encourage them to try on new things and help them learn. They always have the ‘you-can-do-it’ attitude for everyone, egging them to try hard and supporting them if they can’t. I think Journeys are one of the best ways that help you expand your horizon. Among other things, you learn to mingle with strangers, discover new places, adjust to new food and culture. Hence it makes sense that all this is done while they are on a fun journey on the Dinosaur Train.

Shaurya likes it so much, he has given us new names as well. He is Shiny (he doesn’t understand gender differences yet :D), M is Don and I am Buddy. (But then maybe he knows we are different gender coz he and his dad are of one species and I am from a different one :D)

B – It’s a Boy thing!

I was going to say that I am done with letters A, B & C at the same time yesterday with my first post. But then I thought I did try and got out easy with the article ‘A’ ;-) So here’s my 2^nd post – B is for Boys. When we were expecting our kid, we were pretty sure it’s going to be a Girl. M & I used to refer to our yet to be born kid accordingly. She was going to be our little angel. So I was a little surprised when in the delivery room, I was told ‘It’s a boy!’. I thought it’s going to be a different experience. You see I have been raised in an all Girls’s house. We are 4 sisters ( and though I have a younger brother however by the time he came into our lives, I was already out of home) and we had a lot of fun and masti in our full house! :-)
I have always believed that a Girl actually makes a home “home”. With her emotion, creativity and thoughtfulness, she adds life to ordinary days and enhances all the celebrations. She will never forget a birthday or an anniversary, make elaborate plans for it and generally fuss around you. Boys though are a different ball game. I am not saying they are unemotional or forgetful, they are just different :-) And now that I am a mother to a young boy, I see many minute differences between the way he behaves and what I had come to expect from my childhood experiences. Many things that M relates to instantly.

-          Boys love their cars (and truck and jeeps and JCBs and bikes and cycles…. ) – Shaurya has loads and loads of different kind of automobile toys and he can play with them for quite some time every day. The kind of time I spent with my dolls. :-D  ( I had a cute Barbie doll and I used to celebrate her birthday, throw parties for her, I even married her off with another friend’s doll.) Shaurya also has a cycle and a car that he rides and spends hours driving them inside the house. Whenever we go to a toy store (for buying a gift for someone), his eyes are set on some or other new cars that he sees in the Toy store. I have come to believe that the love for automobiles might be in the Genes.
-          Boys love action – Whether Shaurya has to watch it or do it, he is hyper active and will always be on the move. It’s difficult to find him sitting and playing and if you do find him in that state, it won’t be that long. :-) Shaurya is kind of best friends with our neighbor’s daughter, H. They are nearly same age.  However it’s fun to watch them play together. Shaurya will want to run around the house and H wants to sit and play house. Both of them do play along with the other, however you can see them getting uninterested soon.
-          Boys don’t listen – One of things that I am trying to do now is make Shaurya share his toys with other kids. When other kids come home to play, it is a really difficult for me to make him understand that he needs to share his toys. And not just with this thing, but most of the things. I see that he has a lesser attention span to what I am saying. I will be saying something and he will be thinking something else, thus he would not understand since he is not even listening to me. This (and M to an extent) has led me to conclude that Boy’s don’t listen! :-D
-          Boys are more emotional than we think – As I had mentioned earlier, girls are the emotional lot. However I have observed that boys are emotional too, they just don’t show it that much. One of the first times that Shaurya fell sick was when M had to go out of town for a team outing. He developed fever all of a sudden and equally suddenly, he was all good when M was back in 2 days. Once M had taken Shaurya for an errand. M’s bike was taken by the traffic police for incorrect parking. Since M didn't carry his DL along, they had to walk back home. Shaurya was concerned and asking about it. I have seen him observe things and worry if it involves us.
-          They drive you mad – Shaurya will do things knowing I will be angry just for the heck of it. Some of his antics are really too much for me however as per M, I haven’t seen anything yet. May God give me the patience to go through it all with my wits intact.

Mumma's first letter

I wanted to write a post for Shaurya’s second birthday which was on 11^th Oct but just didn’t get a chance to write anything. I can’t believe how soon time flies. Kids grow up so fast. Shaurya will soon be starting play group. :-) It seems only yesterday when I was expecting him. It was such a wonderful experience having him inside my womb. With so much energy that he has (he doesn’t sit still for a moment), no wonder he used to move and kick so much inside. Sometimes I think it must have been really difficult for him to keep floating and be constrained in such a small space. :-D

During Pregnancy, one of the best surprises were these beautiful letters (aka emails) that I used to get from M. (Post marriage, M has become really good at giving surprises. He was really hopeless earlier but now he is even better than me.. ;-D ). These letters were sent by our child via M as the writing medium. I used to love getting these letters and used to wait eagerly for them.. only concern was they were not very frequent - they came only once a month. Pasting below the content of the first letter that my kid sent.. :-)

My Dear Mumma,
Many many Congratulations :-) !!!
 

I will introduce myself later... first tell me how are you feeling now? I know you are going through a very tough yet exciting period of your life :-)..I am also going through an equally excited and a good experience inside your womb.....

 

Let me introduce myself- I am your baby and really excited to be born :-) and see the world with my wonderful parents. I am sure by this time you are fully surprised “how come a baby who is 15mm in length and have not developed any limbs yet, can write letter to me”!!... let me tell you- that is what I am !!!!

I have few suggestions for you and papa....I hope you shall follow those! 

-Please drink at least 2 litres of water a day in Office. 
-Eat lots of fruits, green & leafy veggies every day. 
-I know you don’t like milk now a days, but plz take some for my sake!! I need milk for a stronger bones. 
-Take as much rest as u can, but at the same time make yourself active throughout the day. 
-I feel sleepy @11PM, but can’t sleep as you remain awake till 1:30AM...(as per the nature- a baby inside the womb can’t sleep until the mother goes to sleep) so please go to bed early in the night and make Papa also sleep early as I need a good oil Massage :-) 
-I love my papa a lot so don't irritate him frequently... 
-Take the medicines early plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. 
-Let Papa knows tht I need gifts, so ask him to bring surprise gifts for me and you (I know he is bad in that but he cannot make it an excuse every time, so force him to bring gifts for us!!).
-And at last – Listen to papa as he understands us better than we do!
 
Wait and I will send more letters full of Demands and wishes frequently!!!
I feel proud to be your Baby ...Convey my love to my greatest Papa :-))..
 
your's
Sweet heart baby!


What say... isn't this cute? :-)

PS: By the time I came around posting this one, Shaurya has already started play school. It's been 2 days since he has been going but as of now, aunty has been with him at the preschool the entire duration. He is not playing with others that much and stays mostly with her only. Looks like, it's gonna be a difficult process. :-(

Shaurya turns one!

With all the stuff happening around, I realize that I forgot to document a very important milestone that we achieved. On Oct 11, Shaurya turned 1 and we also celebrated 1 year of parenthood :-) My baby is growing up so fast… his age no longer being counted in months alone. I had been planning a lot for this milestone and was super excited.. About a month earlier, I along with my sister had already started preparing the guest list, thinking about return gifts, menu for the dinner, theme for the decoration, cake, et all. In general I was making a lot of fuss and driving M mad. :-D With both of us working and not getting too much time during normal weekdays, we used to tell M that we do not have a month; just 8 days in hand. But ignoring all my planning and preaching, M joined the bandwagon only 10 calendar days before the D day!! 

The first thing we finalized is the guest list. We live in a close-knit residential society where most of the families know each other. With many society functions taking place, everyone interacts with everyone else. Also with M being the society treasurer and member of the society council, we interact often with other society members. After Shaurya was born, we had a big function back home in Orissa. This was our chance for a celebration with our friends who are in Pune. We didn’t want to miss out on any of our close office friends too, so the list turned out to be a pretty long one! :-) While making the guest list, we also listed down who all has kids along with their approx. age to help us plan for the return gift. And then we grouped the kids based on their age. For example, for kids below 1 year, we got rattles and toys. For older kids, we wanted to give something that would (hopefully) instill a good habit in them.. so we got them piggy banks. There were also whistles, chocolates, balloons and pencil box set which was put inside the piggy bank. We bought everything about a week earlier and gift wrapped it over the weekend. I had made an invitation card with a format I got online. After making changes to it, we got it printed. The weekend before his birthday, we went to the houses of our guests and personally invited them along with the card. It was also e-mailed to our friends and colleagues. 

For the party venue, we had zeroed in on our society club. It has a garden and children’s play area in front and has a big hall plus separate spaces available where caterers can cook as well as a place to lay the buffet. We also started looking for caterers who can take care of the food. While searching for one, we got a party planner who stays nearby. She had started her business just 9-10 months back. She is a young mother who about a year back was looking for a caterer for her son’s birthday. On not finding a good choice, she organized the event herself. Did some for her friends too and thus started her own business “Make my Party”. Both M and I liked the plan that she had in mind and we finalized her. We took a themed decoration package also from her. The decoration was really nice.. with lot of big cardboard cut outs of cars, trains, ships, etc. We knew Shaurya isn’t big enough to enjoy it to the fullest. But he was also excited when he saw it all. And the other kids loved it too. For entertainment, M also got info of a magician and booked him for a magic show for the kids. 

But the million dollar question was what would Shaurya wear!! We wanted Shaurya to wear something comfortable. He would find himself among so many new people and that too past his normal sleeping time, we did not want to compound it by making him wear any traditional jari-tissue waala uncomfortable wear. Though many people including my sister said we should get something special.. like a kurta pyjama, dhoti types, M was in favour of comfortable and more practical Jeans and T-shirt. And kids look smart in it too! So we finalized on it. 

For Shaurya to be fresh for the party, we needed him to be well fed and having a rested sleep. I was just hoping that he sleeps in the evening and luckily, he slept at 5.30 pm. Had a good 1 hour nap and woke up all fresh. After having his dinner, he was all set for the party. If he is not sleepy or hungry, he is in full-on masti mood which is good for him as well as us and the guests!! :-)

Since it was a weekday and we had lot of small kids in our guest list, we had planned to start the party at 7pm. However by the time everyone started trickling in, it was already 8. First we had the magic show. The magician was really good.. very entertaining fella who interacted a lot with the guests and kept them engaged. The 45 min show was over in a jiffy. We had the cake cutting soon after. Shaurya was enjoying all the attention that he was getting. When the cake got cut, the party popper was popped!(?) As soon as it burst there was confetti everywhere. Shuarya was more interested in watching it fall rather than cutting the cake. :-D. Once the cake was cut, there was this huge sea of people who came with all sort of gifts. (This is something that I regret to this day.. we should have asked our guests to come without gift or at least given some other option to them… maybe requested them to contribute to a charity.. or get pencil, pen, notebooks, etc that can be donated. We have a whole lot of toys and other stuff in our home now.. Shaurya is not going to use most of it..! ) Anyways, coming back to the post, once the cake cutting was done, our guests proceeded to the buffet area. The starters were served during the magic show itself. And the main course was arranged as a buffet. The food was awesome. And I am not saying it just cause we were the hosts. Many of our guests came over to us to specially compliment on the food. Even to this day, many ppl in our society call and ask for the caterers number. I and M were mainly busy with the guest, greeting them, making sure no one feels alone or unattended, making sure everyone is enjoying, seeing off guests, etc. By the time the last guests left, it was midnight. 

Overall it was a successful party. Majority of the guests that we had invited turned up and most seemed to enjoy themselves! But for me, the highlight of the day was Shaurya. I was so proud of him. He was a good kid who did not cry or get cranky a lot. He cried once during the magic show when everyone was inside the hall and it got a little crowded. He was also running away if someone was trying to hold him. (as such also Shaurya doesn’t like being held by strangers.. even we carry him very less.. he likes roaming on his own 2 feet!! :-) ) But all and all, he was a very good kid, who was happily awake till 12 without crying. Ate everything that we were feeding him without any complaints. Played with my sister and her friends. I was indeed a very proud, happy and relieved mother!

 

 The b'de Invite

 Shaurya looking at the confetti as we cut the cake!! 

Delegating Parenting

Recently I have come across a lot of cases wherein young working couples leave their small / infant kids with their parents/in-laws while they work in a different city / country / continent. Earlier when I used to hear such cases, it was mostly the case with someone I didn't know closely. Learning about such cases from my friends/acquaintances who were telling this about someone else. At that time, I used to feel sorry for the innocent kid as well as the parents and thought maybe they have some financial constraints forcing them to leave separately from the kid. No one wants to leave his/her kid with others.. they must have done so with a heavy heart and had some really compelling reasons for the same. So as you see my empathy was with the parents. 

Now I see some people that I know who are doing the same. Of course most of my peers are working professionals like me and being in the same age group, many of them have small kids too. So it increases the probability that this time around I might actually know such people. However now that we are in the same boat, I am unable to see any justifiable reason for staying away from your kid. In most of the cases that I see, the couple is trying to safe up money for the child’s future. So here is the child in India while both of them have gone onshore leaving as small as a 1 year old behind. :-( I find financial constraint the most lousy reason. You can still save a reasonable amount if just the father or the mother goes onsite to a different country. One of the parent can stay with the kid and work from here. Put the baby in crèche or get a full time help or get your parents / in-laws with whom you were anyways planning to leave the kid. I am sure there is some better alternative than leaving such a small kid behind. What would that kid be feeling!! When it’s time for me to come back from office, I find Shaurya eagerly waiting for me; I avoid being late by even 15 min as it will increase his waiting. When he is sick, he doesn't even want to get down from my lap. He just lies on my lap while I rock him to sleep. I put him on bed only when he is asleep.(I am not sure if I do that reassure him or me but this is what happens). 

A child needs a parent far more than just for taking care of his/her normal day to day chores. I strongly believe that the emotional support that a child gets from his/her parents cannot be provided by anyone else howsoever close. So when I see parents especially mothers leaving their kids for onsite opportunity / career / promotion, etc, I find it difficult to fathom. Most of the time, I have not seen any major financial constraints with such people. What I see is very very ‘Selfish’ parents. They would like to enjoy their work and time abroad and so here’s the kid making the sacrifice. People who are ambitious or have such financial burden or want to enjoy their time should not have planned their kids. They should wait for the time when their condition is stable and/or they are ready to be parents rather than delegating their responsibility to someone else. Even accidental pregnancy gives u time to plan for the future! This is not a judgement that I am trying to pass, it is a statement of fact. The last thing you want to be as a parent is ‘Selfish’. 

Being a working mother, it has been difficult for me leaving my son at home. Even though I have my sister at home and a help (who has been working at my parent’s place since some 15 odd years and treats us like family), I still worry a lot on whether it’s going to have an adverse effect on Shaurya. Even on a normal day, I hate the part when I have to say bye to him when I start for office. It’s been more than 5 months now since I have joined office but I am still not used to it. Leaving him is still as difficult for me as it was the first day. Hopefully he won’t be a silent kid or a kid who is too mature or understanding for his age or God forbid an angry or violent kid.. at least not because he missed his mom or because I am not with him all the time. Both M and I take utmost care and are always vigilant in this respect. We are cautious not to show our silent guilt or any such negative emotion either. We do not want to pamper him too much or too less. Be too accommodating to adjust for our lost time together or be too strict just to be super cautious. Being a parent is a huge & difficult responsibility and something that no one wants to fail at. Keeping our worries at bay, we like many others just try to give it our best shot and hope that things turn out fine! Delegating such an important task can have its own repercussions

Ganesh Puja Celebration with the kiddo!!

First things First.. wish you a very happy Ganesh Chaturthi!! J. Since I was a kid, I have always remembered bringing the Ganesha idol home for the 10 day celebration that goes on during this time. It used to be really fun filled days when we used to go to our ancestral home in the nearby village. There used to be daily morning and evening Aarti, evening kirtans, playing in our farmhouse, playing in the quaint little railway station in front of our home, catching dragonflys and the likes.. J After my marriage, I and M decided to continue this tradition too. With God’s grace, things have always fallen in place and we have been able to welcome Ganapati in our home each year. This year, it has been an even more special Ganapati Puja. This is the first one after Shaurya’s birth.. Puja celebrations with my own littlebal ganapati.. :-D

I was really looking forward to this since last month. I wanted to see how Shaurya will react when he sees the idol, will he allow us to do the decorations, will the decorations and lightings remain intact till end of the puja, how will he take to the morning and evening Aartis, etc. It has turned out pretty well till now. On Tuesday night, when we were doing the decorations, he was running here and there, happily getting himself wrapped in the decoration items and just enjoying all the fuss. J We had to keep the decorations very simple this year.. everything was pushed on to the wall and we have tried to keep as many things off limit for him as we could. And seeing all our excitement, Shaurya was also happy and excited when he saw the Idol. For the first 2 days he used to try to get the lights out or remove some of the things, but now he has got used to the idea. He enjoys the daily Aartis too.. M while doing the aarti holds the aarti thali with Shaurya and both of them together do a nice 360 degree turn.. praying the Lord in all directions.. :-D. Shaurya loves this.. as soon as I light the diya on the thali, he just stands in front and eagerly waits for M to do that little 360 degree turn with him.

The Little Devil 

On the day of Ganesh Chaturthi, I had made a rangoli just outside our front door. Since it was auspicious to start the Puja in between 6-9 am in the morning, we did the Puja as soon as we had bathed and were ready. By the time Puja was over and we were done with our breakfast, it was late. So the Rangoli was made only around noon. After making it, I sat in the drawing room and was chatting with M and my sister Chinki. We have this huge Sofa in our drawing room and we were lounging on it. Shaurya as usual was running all over the house looking for new things to play with. After some time, he went near the front door and stood there. I just peeped to check on what he was doing. I could see him bowing his head & looking at the Rangoli. He was standing just inside the door and was looking down at the Rangoli. We thought that he is finding all those rangoli colors attractive and new and thus was happily looking at it.. a little in awe maybe. How wrong could we have been? When he was standing there for about 3-4 minutes and continuously looking at theRangoli, I got a little worried. He doesn’t sit still in place for more than 30 seconds.. 3-4 minutes is too much. He can’t be that much in Awe of the colors.. something wasn’t right. When I went to him, what do I see? He had this belan (rolling pin) in one hand (don’t know when he went to the kitchen and pulled it from the countertop), was holding on to the door frame with his other hand and was happily scribbling at the rangoli with the belan. All my efforts of the last 20 minutes went kaput.. the rangoli didn’t even survive 30 minutes. L And he wasn’t done just yet. I got this rangoli frame from my neighbor and had made ganesha with it on a plate. I had kept it in front of the Ganesha Idol. In the evening, Shaurya just went near the Idol. Gave this plate a slight shake.. just a light tap and then left, never to touch it again. However this small tap was just enough to mix all the colors together. L At least this rangoli survived till evening. J

My Desi Boy

As part of our society Ganesh Puja celebrations, there were many different events planned to keep the society members involved and make it fun for all. One such event was the fancy dress competition for children below 2 years of age. Shaurya being 11 months was eligible for the same. It was a working day for me.. since I am normally back by 4pm, I planned to buy an outfit for Shaurya and get him ready for this event which was scheduled for 7pm. It turned out to be a busy day @ office, my sister called me at 6 and reminded about the event. By the time I reached home it was already 6.30pm, I went to a few shops near our home but did not get any fancy dress outfit. I started discussing with M and my sister on what to do now. I realized that Shaurya has a white Dhoti Kurta that he wore for a Puja ceremony. We got him to wear this white dhoti kurta. My sister took out one of my red dupattas and tied it around Sharuya’s waist. M suggested we make a moustache on Shaurya’s face. Out came my never-before-used Kajal :-D and I made a moustache.  A big red tikka using my lipstick and Shaurya was ready for the event. To complete his desi boy look, we gave him a white stick - improvised out of a curtain holder. Shaurya was looking very very cute. When we took him downstairs for the event, everyone was super excited on seeing Shaurya. Everyone was Oohing and Aaahing..  :D. All the other kids were dressed beautifully too. There were 2 little krishnas; both looking great. And our front door neighbor had made her daughter Radha.. she was looking so pretty!! It was nice seeing such small kids dressed up for the event. All of the kids were given a gift by M (our society treasurer and working committee member :D). You can call me a biased mother but I have to admit I found Shaurya the cutest of them all and ready as a perfect fancy dress participant J.

Trip to the Movie Theatre

Since Shaurya’s birth we have not gone to watch movie in a theatre. We have had ample opportunities to go to theatre. I have a full time maid at home and my sister also stays with us, so we could leave Shaurya with them and go for a movie together. However both M and I never felt it worth so much that we need to leave Shaurya behind. We did not want to take him to the theatre since there would be loud sounds in the movie and Shaurya is too small for all the noise. With Shaurya turning 1 next month, we decided to give it a try and see how he takes to it. Luckily for us, Barfi had just released. It’s a soft light movie so we were sure there would be no loud action sequences or sound in it. We booked the 11.30 am show so that Shaurya will be ready by his normal time and play a little. He usually sleeps by 12 pm so maybe 30-45 min into the movie, he can doze off on my lap. We reached the theatre by 11.10, Shaurya as usual was excited on seeing a new place. Everything was okay till we entered the hall. Shaurya was looking at the big screen and at everyone around. Then the lights were turned off J This may be triggered sleep hormones inside him, he started getting a little cranky. I gave him a biscuit to eat, let him sip little water and rocked him a little. The movie had soft melodious background score. When the first song started, I gently eased Shaurya into a sleeping position with his head in the nook of my arm. In 30 seconds flat, he was asleep listening to the soft tones. He never ever sleeps so easily. Maybe I should buy a songs DVD of Barfi :-D He woke up only towards the end of the movie. It was a great experience and not as dreadful as were thinking. We had gone mentally prepared to leave the movie in between and come back home if our son is not comfortable. Thankfully everything turned out to be good. My friend Amu calls it beginner’s luck.. :D hope it turns out to be more than that. Any which way, we were thankful for this dose of luck. J

Ganapati Idol @ our home

Doing the Aarti along with his Papa. 

Seen here happily and quietly ruining the Rangoli that I made.

In his Desi Boy avataar. :-)

Mommy back 2 work

Finally I have joined back office. After taking 8 months of leave through various extensions, I had to decide on when to join back. This definitely has to be the most difficult decisions I have had to make. There were so many things going on in my mind, so many discussions I have had with M, so many pros and cons we discussed..  

We were very clear that my joining back should never be at our son’s expense. We did not want him to be sad and unhappy. I have heard from many of my friends that it’s generally the guilt of the working mom that comes out and makes her think in that direction. Small kids do not miss or think so much. They adapt really well. So if you join back and are confident about how you manage, your kid will get that vibe and adapt well. If you are in doubts, this vibe will also reach your kid and he/ she will have trouble adapting to things. So we are trying to provide positive vibes even though we sometimes have our doubts.

Our main concern was how our son will take to my joining back office and being away from him for long durations. There have been times when I have left him for 3-4 hours but never more than that.  To handle this, we decided that initially I would go to office for 6 hrs or so and gradually increase it. 

Shaurya will be 8 months old in a week. He is a happy baby (most of the time.. :-) Touchwood!! ) who keeps crawling all around the house and playing with this or that, turning the house upside down. He finds something or the other to keep himself occupied.. so it’s not difficult entertaining him but u have to keep a constant watch on him. Otherwise he would go and start eating the doormat.. you see that is what he finds most attractive in our house!! Followed by potato sacks in the kitchen, head phone wires, laptops, pillows, strings coming out of blankets, etc. He has also started to test his walking skills, so he keeps standing, trying to balance, falling over on his head, bum, etc etc. So we have to be vigilant in that respect too.

I wasn’t that worried about what he will eat during my absence since I had already started him on semi-solid diet and during day time, he generally eats either porridge or mashed fruits or formula milk etc. The only big task here is feeding him. :-) It takes me nearly 30 min to an hour to feed him one meal. And he has to be continuously entertained during that whole time. :-D I have a full time maid at home who has been with Shaurya since he was 2 months old. She takes care of him well; only problem being she can’t spoon feed him. For the time being though this has been taken care of; my sister is with us and she takes care of spoon-feeding shaurya in my absence. 

He sleeps very less during the day time. And while preparing for joining back office, we slowly made sure that our maid is able to rock and put him to sleep and Shaurya is very comfortable with his Uma aunty :-). But then this is only during the day, come evening and I don’t know what happens to my baby. I have to be with him, otherwise he won’t sleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, and I don’t hold him within a few minutes he starts crying till I come and hold him. No matter who comes to him at that time, he won’t keep quiet for a long time. Kids are weird when it comes to sleep.. :-) I and Amu laugh a lot when we talk about our kids sleep patterns. If they are hungry, they cry.. its understandable since they can't feed themselves. But if you are sleepy, just sleep naa.. who is asking you to be awake and cry your heart out!!

It’s been 2 weeks now since I joined office. Haven’t been able to clock full working hours yet. But it’s been manageable till now. I think the main reason being presence of my sister and our maid. My sister is awesome with kids and our maid has been with us for more than 14 years now (She works at my parents’ house, I have requested her to come with us for a few months :-)) She is very caring and has great sense of responsibility.  Shaurya has been with them since long now and nearly as comfortable with them as me. So I guess for him, it’s like “Mom & Dad are out for a few hours but I have my mausi and uma aunty so no worries!!.. I will have fun in their absence!!” :-) Presence of my sister has helped reduce the guilt I have felt leaving Shaurya and joining back office.  It’s not that I am guilt free now but the guilt has reduced considerably. I still have pangs of guilt but I am in a position to try to happily look at the positives. 

This is how things are for now..  I know it is not permanent. Situation will change, things will evolve but my baby will also be growing up and I am hoping he will also keep adapting along with his parents.

First step into motherhood

It's been quite long since I posted something. I know it's nothing new :D Everyone especially me is quite aware how lazy I am. I wanted to make some excuse for the same but than I got to be truthful to myself. Anyways I was talking to my friend Amu and she pointed out that it’s high time I wrote something. So here I am, dragging myself out of my laziness and trying to scribble something. And following her lead, let me begin by recording my ‘Deliverance’ ;-D

First things first.. as the title of this post already suggests: I am a 'MOM' now.. :-D. Gave birth to a beautiful little angel on 11th Oct 2011. We have named him 'Shaurya'. During my entire pregnancy, I & M were looking forward to welcoming a cute little girl to begin our family.. but guess 'Shaurya' had already picked us up as his parents and we can't be grateful enough. (Btw now I know that he used to practice kickboxing when we used to address my ever growing belly as 'she' :)) Some things are just meant to be. While pregnant, I used to fret about having normal delivery. Nearly most of everyone that I knew had C-sec and I so wanted a normal one even though I have a very low pain threshold.. ironical..huh!! ;-)

I had no pain or even the slightest or smallest of contraction during my entire pregnancy. One day before my due date, we went for a ultrasound. It was found that I had low water content in my uterus. My Gynaec advised us to go ahead for induced labor instead of waiting for natural labor to begin. My uncle who is a pediatrician gave us a heads up to be ready for a C-sec coz of the low water content. We went home assimilating all the info and to prepare for the next day. We retired into our room early to get some rest but neither I nor M were able to sleep. On the D day, we were out of bed early in the morning. I made poha for breakfast (M's favorite) and we (as in me, M, my mil and fil) started for the hospital. After some quick form filling, I was admitted and injected pain inducing medicines through saline drip. The Dr said it sometimes takes 3-4 hrs for pain to kick in so we waited, waited and waited. Till evening there was no progress and no pain of course :) !! . The doctor than tried few more medicines. Again nothing. By 8 pm the baby started showing some very minor signs of distress. We could have waited longer but than since even with help, my labor was not progressing and to top it the water content was low, chances of a normal delivery were very less. We didn’t want to push for a normal delivery, resulting in maybe an emergency C-sec and/or distress for the baby. After consulting with our doctor, around 8.30 pm, we gave a go ahead for C-sec. And as if on cue, it started raining heavily... filmy indeed!!

With the decision finally made, everything started moving in fast forward mode. A welcome break from the sheer monotony of waiting. I was moved into the operating theatre. It was my first time in an OT and what a place it was. Pretty awe-inspiring - Squeaky clean with quite a lot of high end gadgets and monitors. I would have loved the place only if it was not me going under the knife. There was an OT table where I was to lie. It was very very thin and I wasn't sure how I supposed to fit in there in my normal form forget about 9 month pregnant form. Anyways somehow I tried to fit in. Once in, I was quickly attached to many of those cool monitors and the anesthetist and Gynaec started their work. I just felt slight tugging and pulling kind of sensations in my tummy and before I knew it my son was out. I was just shown the baby and then he was handed over to a pediatrician for check up. we had opted for stem cell banking so my Gynaec started working on it and then stitched me up. I was then wheeled into the recovery area. While all this was going on, I was craving to hold my baby and be with M.

Once the baby was checked and bathed, the nurse took him outside OT and handed him over to his father and grand parents. M was given hospital gown and he come to the recovery area to be with me. I will for ever remember that first look and all the love I saw on his face. It's priceless. It was past 12 now and he wished me 'Happy 34 months'. :-) (34 months of our wedding.. we got married on 12th Dec). After about an hour more there, I was wheeled into my room where I was welcomed by my beaming in-laws. After a 5 day stay, I was discharged from the hospital. I was so glad to be at home. A hospital no matter how luxurious is in the end still just a hospital!!

Shaurya is 6 months old or shall I say young now. Growing up pretty fast. It feels like it was just yesterday that he came into our lives. I have been in love with him from the moment I saw him. Motherhood has been quite a joy - not everything has been easy or as natural as it seems but it has been fun. I am also learning and growing as a mother along with my son. "A child gives birth to a mother" - this is a caption on display at OnP tulips (the hospital that I delivered in). True indeed!! :)