Friday, March 21, 2008

Here is a girl

I got it as a forward a pretty long time back. Have got it again & again many a times after that. Couldn't help myself from sharing it here. I guess guys also have similar apprehenstions as well as expectations about marriage as we girls do. And guess this sums it up in a neat way. What you want, at the end of the day, is understanding and love from your better half.

As most of you might know, this is an old post which has been dissected. crtiticized and hailed like anything.. :)

Here is a girl,

who is as much educated as you are;

who is earning almost as much as you do;

one, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

one, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

one, who has lived with and loved her parents and brothers and sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

one, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

one, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;

one, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a naukraani, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her, and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding or if she learns faster than you;

one, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace, too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;

one, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

one, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

one, who just wants one thing from you - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding and love.

Are you man enough to give it to her?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

PS : You got fwd; I drafted in 5 min, and NO HARD FEELINGS…
Here is a man
-Never taken care of utilities (Electrical fittings, Empty cylinder, no water, poor sewerage) be4 as you because he was also busy studying, looking for job; but now he has to take care of all the things because it’s supposed to be that way..
- Even he is tired as hell after office, he has to take you out for dinner because it’s your anniversary day.
- Who has never taken any responsibility in his life; but ready to take care of two families
- He who has given up so many things (Booze, smoke, gamble, late night hang outs) cause his wife doesn’t like.
- Not speaking a lot with his frnds, who are girls, cause he is being watched and over heard.. ( u know by whom)
- If he is helping an frnd out of the way who is girl he has to answer complete viva session (marks 100)
If you just help him some and trust him; one, who just wants one thing from you - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding and love. Are you WO-man enough to give it to her?
It’s a general saying: “Marriage is understanding between two people”
I feel it’s an very old saying when word UNDERSTANDING might be the synonym for word COMPROMISE

Rachna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachna said...

I cannot help but appreciate the counter comment by the above anonymous(pun intended)(as
ashma rightly mentiond in her blog...this apprehension and uncertain state is for
both the genders),it is a change that is suppose to come in almost all of our lives..at times
sooner and latter for some lucky one;))) ...i guess we are all very much apposed to ne
changing things.....kind off so very used to the stable configuration that ne change which
threatens to disturbs the configuration annoys us:)....

Ashma said...

Anon: I completely agree with you. Ok not completely but yes I do agree to it till a certain extent. As I have already mentioned in the start, it must be the same on both the sides.. it has been put there as they reflect the kind of apprehensions I could relate to.



- not sure abt guys but girls do know how to pay utility bills, ;-).. u see they also stay away from home and work like u do..

- this is smthg I will never understand.. guys making a fuss on celebrating annv/b’de etc.. hey ur gal will be happy if u just wish her.. and its also abt expectations, if u can pamper her before ur marriage, why not after it. Or maybe just don’t start it in the first place.

- she also gave up quite a lot for u..

- same is the other way round

- ditto



Again as mentioned earlier, it goes both ways.. J And I agree with you on it being compromise which should be from BOTH the sides. There’s nothing called a perfect person for you, you just have to try and make ur life perfect. But it should be BOTH who try it. Women are called home-makers but one person can not make anything a home.


PLEASE NOTE:NO HARD FEELINGS ON THIS SIDE EITHER

rachana:exactly;)

Anonymous said...

@ Ashama
- I don't know why girls always make issue with kitchen work, even guys can cook and MAKE TEA..Why girls always crib about food and work in kitchen.. even guys can cook (They do when they stay away from home..) and whn u both r working have orderlies around..
- Reason of my counter was to support guys :-) girls should also know some of our viewpoints..
- I am not in a mood to dig the hole deeper as this is an everlasting debate.. GOOD LUCK !!

Amrita said...

Ashu I remember sending this fwd to u :D

And @Anon - U r in for some more brickbats now...
Yea guys also have to compromise and change a lot.. I agree to it...
But you are NOT questioned if u dont do it....
But it is held against the girl if she does not DO these DUTIES.
It is ok if u forget to pay utility bills... Its not ok if the lunch was burnt
Its ok if u still have urs guys nite out.. Try telling ur mom tht ur wife went for a movie wid a guy frn.... The poor mom will think something is amiss!!!!

And trust me buddy... the first thing a girl gives to a guy whom she consents for wedding is her trust.
Its just her insecurity about herself that makes her suspicious, so be senstive to that.. U wud nt like u r gal to b talking to the cute guy next door rite? Similarly.

Anonymous said...

@ Amrita
- Life is hell if you come back to hell (House will be hell if things are not fine), wherever you go, whatever you do outside, It hardly matters wether u r guy or gal..
" Things are gen simple; we comlicate them "

Ashma said...

--Anon: wow.. THANKS. :-)

Amrita said...

Well Anon: Ashu said thanks...
I some how feel it was sarcastic
was nt it ??? *evil*

And Anon i feel u are trivialising things.. if this suits u fine then no issue :)
To each one his own

Ashma said...

--Amu: We need not talk dearie.. :D

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Prakash said...

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