Saturday, October 06, 2007

The change in me

I have always been the kind of person who hates changes. I get so comfortable and used to everything (people, places, my work space, things.. anything), that I resist change up till the last moment I can. Oh you should see how get used to a good watch, or a shoe or a t-shirt.. I keep using it till my friends and ppl around me start commenting that maybe that’s the only piece I have.. :). My friends keep rigging me up and literally force me to move onto something else just for a .. u guessed it.. change.
Even though I am a lazy gal who simply detests changes, once a situation has actually changed, I adapt myself to it pretty fast. It takes me very little time to dig in, find a comfortable place, dig deeper and then mount myself there. :) I sit tight till the next change makes me move out of the comfort zone.

All that being said, you can imagine how difficult it would be for me to try to deliberately change myself. I have always given more than 100% to my work. Worked to the best of my abilities, gone beyond my comfort zone, worried sick about the status of a project or its deliverable, I have even had sleepless nights because of it. My project caters to a major US financial institution. Due to the time zone difference, the entire evening is spent on project meetings, tele-conferences, etc which continue till late at night. These meetings generally result in action items which are worked on during the morning half. So during a normal weekday you can’t even think of having an hour or a minute for yourself. On my way back from office, I used to ponder on one or other project issue. After reaching home and having my dinner, I would again call up my onsite counterpart for updates. It was not the working hours that were hectic; it was the constant strict deadline. Whatever the phase, the work is always demanding and since I am very good in worrying and taking tension, I had my work cut out for me.

This was my normal working day until I reached Onsite. During my Onsite stint, the pressure was more but at least I was back home by 8pm max. Very rarely did I have to stay late in office. Even then the habit of “worrying” was always with me. Then one day, a very good friend of mine - ‘P’ - suggested that I stop thinking so much about my work. I should do my best at work, think about solutions/innovations, etc but when things are not under my control, I should not start worrying either. After all - it’s work, not my life. He hammered the fact in till it entered my brain and was lodged there. Since then I have deliberately trained myself not to worry too much. It’s not going to solve anything anyways. I should do my best and when I can not do anything else, I should not worry either.

Now that I am back in India, looks like this training is bearing fruit. I still have work till late at night, onsite calls after reaching home & I still worry about the work but there is moderation to my "worrying" now. Whenever I start worrying about “what will happen now?”, I think about the situation & try to search for a solution. If I get it, well and good. But if I find that there is nothing that I can do about it at that moment, I just push back my "worry" saying “I anyways can’t do anything now, lets take it up once I reach office tomorrow morning”. As Scarlett so often said in GWTW – ‘After all tomorrow is another day’. And I will tell you, this has made life simpler. Unnecessary worries are a big headache. Thank you Popatlal!! ;-p

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The "Loving" yours truly.. ;-)

From the kind of topics ( aka quizzes) I am blogging on, there are 2 inferences you can surely draw..
1. I am in the mood to hear good things about myself.. as Richard Gere would say - in need of a major "suck up" ;-)
2. I am too busy ( read LAZY) to think and actually write about something (although I have tonnes of things I could write on.. as an fyi, I just landed back in India.. back to Home-Sweet-Home.. )
What's Your Best Quality?
Your Result: Loving



Your best quality is loving! People like you because of your loving nature. You are a nice person that cares about others. Your loving nature makes you a good friend.

What's Your Best Quality?