I will never understand why people don't say what's on their mind. Why all the hiding? Is it fear - fear that the other person will do something you don't expect. Something which can ruin your plans for yourself and the world around you. I can understand holding your tongue in check and not lashing out loud when you are trying to protect someone. Also it's better to keep your mouth shut before judging someone, you might turn out to be the one having delusions. Trying to avoid a conflict is also something I can live with (though there are cases where getting things out in open & clearing the air is much better than keeping mum and sulking about it).
Once I moved out of the house and started my work life in Bangalore, I have faced a dilemma. Should I keep my thoughts to myself, think more before I speak out, especially in my professional life. Is it good to be so frank with my peers? I am not talking about hiding something or even lying but being more 'professional'. One of my friend had once told me, 'you should not be too open, your seniors/peers will know how to manipulate you'. When I first heard it, I thought it to be too extreme. But maybe my friend does have the right idea. Maybe sometimes its better to keep your thoughts to yourself. I am sure that my colleagues have a pretty fair idea of what my thoughts are in a given situation.I agree that there have been situations wherein I have done things that I would have liked to avoid. Got irritated coz of something and though I may not have told anything, everyone near me can make out that I am irritated. Said yes to a work assigned by my PM, when I am already flooded & would have liked to say no. But than this is something you can not avoid being in IT field. Deadlines are always unrealistic and work is always just a tad more. Small lies and sacrifices are part of our life and I take it with a pinch of salt. But they should be as less and as true as they can be.
It has happened to me so many times when I have said/requested something and got a hedging response from the other side. I generally have opinions on almost everything - don't know if it's good or bad but I do have it. Given a situation my friends know what my feelings are. Till now, I have never had any major problems because of it. With friends/family, if there comes a situation where-in I am uncomfortable, I tell it to them. Such situations are rare, since they already know about it without my telling. And I am blessed with friends who are understanding beyond expectations. (Thanks for being such gr8 friends.. Miss you all.. hey I am coming back to India soon.. so cyaaaaaaa :-).. though some friends will be left behind here.. :-(.. )
Off late I have started growing increasingly uncomfortable sensing all the planning and politics and stalling that generally takes place. And when I talk about speaking your mind, I am not talking about truth or lie, it's about having an honest conversation with your peers, subordinates and seniors, especially on issues that involve them. Management will always have some excuse for all the decisions made. I agree that this decisions maybe for the overall growth of the project/account,etc. But does this and your personal growth have to be mutually exclusive. Can't they go hand on hand. Do we really don't get anything without first fighting for it? And this is when my professional life has just started. I am still very near the bottom rung of the corporate ladder and I feel dizzy. Can't even imagine what must be going on at the top. Games people play!! Sigh!!
